Memoir

of Brother C. F. Ramftler’s, Minister of the Brethrens’ Congregation in Bristol, who departed this life on October 26th, 1832, aged 52 1/2 years. Written by himself.

If parentage and descent under any circumstances be cause for glorying, I think I have whereof to glory. Both my grandparents on the parental side left home and kindred and property and whatever was dear to them in the world for conscience sake, my grandfather being a Moravian emigrant and my grandmother Marchioness de Monton being one of the French refugees. Of myself I will not glory, cannot glory, save that by the cross of Christ the world has been crucified to me, and I unto the world, that amidst my manifold infirmities his power has rested upon me, and that my numberless sins have I believe been blotted out with his precious blood.

My father was born at Herrnhut on July 6th, 1740, and at the time of my birth was accountant for the Bailiwick of Barby in Saxony, which the Brethren’s unity then held upon a long lease. There I first saw the light of this world on March 12th, 1780, and shall ever be thankful to my God and redeemer, that born and educated in the bosom of the Brethren’s Church, I obtained a birthright to this household of God, and have been preserved from selling this birthright. My preservation from gross sin, and my early impressions of divine grace, are to be solely ascribed under divine blessing to a careful education which preserved me the from temptations and checked my evil propensities. My dear mother often told me that during her pregnancy with me she had fervently prayed that I might rather not live than not become an heir of heaven and that I might become a preacher righteousness preferably among the heathen.

My affectionate father treated me with a degree of severity and I stood in awe of him, while my mother found it the most effectual method of controlling me to remind the that by evil doing, I offended that Saviour whose love to me had prompted him to lay down his life for me. By my lively and active disposition I fell into many errors, and gave frequent uneasiness to my parents. In my 6th year I remember to have had the first indelible impression of a spiritual nature, at the meeting on Good Friday in which the Lord’s death is commemorated. When the words were read: “And he bowed the head, and gave up the ghost,” and the congregation fell on their knees in prayer, a power pervaded my mind which I did not then understand, but which times without number, has since then been brought to my recollection, as a drawing of grace, and a divine call to give my heart to him who died for my sins.

After having acquired the rudiments, of learning in the day school at Barby, I was by my parents and at my own desire removed to the boarding school at Kleinwelke in my 7th year. Though separated thus early from home at the distance of about 150 English miles, I was delighted with the idea of the change, the number of companions, and the opportunity of improvement. The mode of living was poor, nor was the method of instruction best calculated to improve the mind. After a while I lost my vivacity, and became homesick. A dangerous illness seized me, when I had been little more than a year at Kleinwelke: an abscess in the lungs reduced me to a skeleton, deprived me of the power of speech and brought me to the very brink of the grave. My father upon receiving the information hastened to see me, and resolved in reliance upon God, to take me home in that enfeebled state.

Although told by my medical attendants, that probably I should be a corpse, before I could reach home and that it ever I should recover, my speech would never be restored and consequently the idea of making a preacher of me must be entirely given up. The very thought of returning home cheered me, and a commodiens carriage with a bed and a careful nurse being provided the journey was accomplished in 5 days in delightful weather, my arrival at home taking place on September 26th, 1787. On the third day of the journey, we passed a very uneven and stony road the violent shaking of which broke the abscess, and led to a copious discharge of matter, with a distressing cough, which made my father momentarily apprehend my death. While it proved through divine mercy, that this very circumstance laid the foundation to my cure which was afterwards gradually promoted by the use of Iceland moss and other remedies under the faithful care of Dr Lieberkühn.

This I regard as the first striking interposition of providence in the renewed gift of life and in the redoubled obligation thereby imposed upon me to devote that life to him, to whose service I had been devoted at baptism, and dedicated by many parental prayers. After my recovery, I again attended the day school, where the opportunities for making progress in learning were scant until, in my 12th year, I received private lessons by a candidate for the Lutheran ministry preparatory for my entrance into the pedagogium of the Brethren’s Unity then established at Barby. Next to the pleasures of gardening and husbandry, in which during my childhood I was delighted to share in the fertile soil of my native place. My mind was intent upon the acquirement of knowledge, and in that view readily sacrificed the former delights.

Although I cannot say that my mind was then truly spiritualized, yet my desire to devote my life to the ministry in the Brethren’s Unity was then almost as strong and distinct as at any subsequent period, nor am I aware of any secular motive, save the opportunity of study, wherein I found my element. My religious views were simple, and centered in the love of Christ and the obligation of loving him in return. The experience of the efficacy of this theme, familiarly and affectionately presented to the youthful mind, though not always productive at the time of the desired benefit, has in later years made it my pleasing duty to direct children in the course of my ministerial labours to that Saviour whose history in it important bearings they can both understand and feel, while dry argument and doctrinal statement leave their hearts cold and dead. On April 1st, 1792, I entered the pedagogium as a pupil, and during the 5 1/2 years of my residence in it visited my parents’ house but once in the week for two hours on Sunday, although at the distance of but a few hundred yards.

Under the excellent tuition of my preceptors I now made rapid progress, and took much pleasure in my studies, although the very close confinement occasionally produced lowness of spirits. In this period while sin strengthened with my youth, the Saviour’s love overcame its dominion, and while my conversion to God was gradual and it is impossible for me to point out the date of its commencement, I could trace that by the grace of God I became what by nature I neither was nor desired to be. The private and confidential advice of the laborer of the academicians in Barby will ever be held in grateful remembrance by me. On June 17th, 1792, I was received into the Brethren’s congregation and, on Maundy Thursday in the following year, partook the first time of the Holy Communion; nor did I ever regret having this early been admitted to this feast which proved a powerful check to my sinful nature, and profitable season for self examination whenever it returned.

My classical studies, having been completed, I was in October 1797 transferred with 13 companions to the Theolgical Seminany at Niesky. The lectures delivered in this institution were profitable to me, I took notes of their contents, and devoted myself with a degree of assiduity to the study of divinity. But the simplicity of my mind received a shock, mental poison I swallowed mixed with mental food, vain conceit and self dependance seized me, sceptical sentiments laid hold of me and I even contemplated the abandonment of the proposed career of my life, in which I was prevented by my judicious uncle, whom I visited several times in Lower Lusatia. Amidst the waywardness of my mind and the awakening passions of my sinful heart, in which my superiors treated me with more harshness than wisdom, the desire of preaching the gospel returned to my mind, and an acquaintance which I formed with a neighbouring Lutheran clergyman in the village of Arndorf led to an invitation from him that I would make a trial of preaching in his church, which I did when barely 17 years of age.

As this was done without the previous permission of the Inspector of the Seminary, I received a sharp rebuke, but afterwards with the sanction of the U.E.C. preached twice again in churches before I quit the seminary. In February 1800, I returned to Barby, the journey being performed in very severe weather, and in my passage through Leipsic I spent some time at the house of a friend awaiting myself of the opportunity of attending various lectures at that university. Now I spent a few months very agreeably at the house of my parents, and occupied myself in part with copying congregation accounts. In July of the same year, I received a call to be schoolmaster at Neusalz in Silesia, which was my first station of service and well calculated to try and humble me.

The children of the congregation committed to my care, had been much neglected by my predecessor; inexperience induced me to adopt severe measures, and I was employed in teaching the alphabet and first rudiments of learning. Yet I enjoyed through mercy the love and confidence of the parents, was supported by Brother Nitschky the Minister of the Congregation and saw that my labour was not in vain in the Lord. I lodged in the Single Brethren’s House. My maintenance was very scant and I was obliged to copy accounts to supply my need. Here I had also pretty frequent opportunities of assisting the minister in the public proclamation of the gospel wherein I look much pleasure. A striking preservation of my life during my residence at Neusalz strengthened my conviction that my God had still work for me to do in this world, and moved me to consecrate myself anew to my preserver and redeemer.

On May 19th, 1801, I went by the dedication and in the company of a friend to the River Oder at the distance of about 2 miles from the town. In high spirits did my companion proceed and encourage me to follow him. But suddenly he sunk in an unexpectedly deep place of the river, and rose no more. I stepped after him with a view to rescue him, attempting to seize his arm the water rose above my head, and I lost all power of voluntary motion, considering my life as lost. By an inexplicable providence, however, I was raised and found myself standing again on firm ground, thankful for my deliverance but agonized on account of the loss of my friend. Hastily and in an almost distracted state of mind I procured assistance, removed the drowned body, and adopted all practicable means to resuscitate it but in vain. Thus one was taken and the other left.

At the conclusion of the Synod in 1801, I received a call to be a teacher in the Academy for Young Noblemen at Uhyst. Self-denying as my station at Neusalz had been, I left it with considerable regret, because I enjoyed the love and friendship of many, and had not been left destitute of the blessing of my God. In Uhyst from the superior mode of instruction, as well as the greater convenience in the mode I life, my abode was pleasant; in addition to our domestic circle, I enjoyed confidential intercourse with the clergyman of the Parish, at whose house I spent many evenings after the labour of the day for profitable relaxation. Both at the academy and church I had frequent opportunities of testifying of the Grace of God in Christ Jesus. Dreary as the country about Uhyst is, the village standing in the midst of extensive fir forests, and confined as my society there was, the removal of the academy to great Hennersdorf near Herrnhut after I had been only half a year there proved painful to me.

In Hennersdorf also I resided only half a year, being in the spring of 1803 called to England, to occupy the place of first teacher in the newly founded Boarding School at Fairfield near Manchester. This call which constituted a new epoch in my life, and directed my whole official career, and moreover was very much contrary to my inclination, and plans, and prospects, I could not accept, until it had been sanctioned by lot. Paying a farewell visit to my parents, I took a painful leave of them, of many dear friends, and of my native land. At Hamburg I embarked for Hull, and by contrary winds was detained three weeks at Cuxhaven as a lonely passenger in the ship’s cabin. when at length having reached the open sea an English privateer seized us, under the mistaken Idea that the French had made themselves masters of Hamburg.

The privateer belonging to Colchester, where we were carried to the Harbour of Wivenhoe 4 miles from that town. Thus my arrival in England seemed very inauspicious; coming to a place to which I had no recommendation, where I could not be introduced to a single individual. My situation was peculiarly irksome. The English language I had indeed learned to read, but hearing it for the first time in common conversation I found it very difficult to understand it, nor could I readily express myself in it. How to proceed, I knew not, and therefore took my quarters at the Rose and Crown Inn Wivenhoe until I might be favored with an answer from Brother Wollin in London to whom I wrote. Sunk into mournful meditations, I wandered in the fertile fields, admiring the beauty of the landscape, but feeling myself cut off from all human endearments. Nothing could have cheered my mind, but the conviction that here I was in obedience to a divine call, and that he who called me would not have nor forsake me.

In all my future situations and difficulties, it has been my great support and consolation, that not by my own choice nor even by mere human appointment but according to the mode of appointing to office in our church, I occupied the places, which I old occupy, and was engaged in the employments in which I was engaged from time to time. The solitude also in which I now felt myself, directed my mind to the more frequent communion with my divine friend and Saviour. By the arrival of Brother Wollin I was relieved and with him proceeded to London from whence after a few days, I went to Fairfield the place of my destination. It was consoling after so long an interval to be again in a Brethren’s Congregation, which on future occasions after journeys, I have often experienced as a peculiar refreshment amidst the various defects of our congregations UPDATE HEREAFTER there is a flowing together of Soul, between their members, and a facility of becoming acquainted and even intimate with one another as belonging to one family, which I have no where met with out of our Com- munity.

I reached Fairfield July 15th 1803. and was cordially received by Br Willet the Domestic Manager, and Br J. Hyland & T. Bird the Assistant Teachers of the newly established Boarding School. My difficul- ties under God were greatly eased by the friendship of Br. W. Foster the Congn Helper there, also by Br Clemens the Minister. The situation was sufficiently trying as may easily be conceived when it is considered that with my imperfect acquaintance with the language and man- ners of the Country, it devolved principally on me to regulate the School, and to form as well as execute the needful plans for it future success. Moreover it was incum- bent upon me immediately and from thence for two years to live alone with 10 Boys or 12 as the School rapidly increased.

Indeed the success with which the Lord blessed us was for beyond expectation, so that in a Year’s time it became necessary to add a story to the house, which then was immediately filled with between 50 & 60 Board- ers and continued to contain that number besides Day-Scholars, while I was em- ployed in it. It is not in the spirit of vain glorifying when I say that my whole strength was assiduously devoted to my Official Duty, and that my deal in endeavouring to aid the improvement of my Scholars was fervent and sincere. My mistakes were numerous, and my hasty and passionate temper in particular, led me into many errors in Word and action, not in this situation only but in future employments also. It is my shame that nature was not more decidedly and entirely mortified by Grace, and that the meek and patient mind of Christ was not reflected on me, as it might have been had I with closer Com- munion with him by faith and in prayer. combined more Watchfulness & Circumspection.

The well meant but often ill directed fervor with which I was apt to act at the impulse of the moment and the unpremeditated man- ner with which on those occasions I was ac- customed to express my Sentiments and feelings not unfrequently harsh, gave offence and wounded the feelings of those whom I affec- tionately loved, and whose welfare it was my Sincere desire to promote. To deal plainly and uprightly was my design but in so doing I sometimes neglected a kind and courteous deportment. That life, injury was occasioned thereby than might have been expected, is to be attri- buted to the everlasting Mercy of my Saviour, whereby the friendship of most with whom I was connected was preserv- ed to me, and their apology for my hasty manner was readily made, in the con- viction of my good intention. The chas- tening of my own mind by the Spirit of God was often painful and severe after my warm temper had misled me to an inconsiderate mode of proceeding.

After three months residence in Eng- land I begun to address discourses to the Chil- dren and on the Sunday before Christmas, preached my first Sermon in the English language at Duckenfield. On Christmas day I was favored to deliver my first public tes- timony at Fairfield. The Lord supported & granted me acceptance. I accustomed my self to take great pains in waiting and committing to memory the discourses wch from that time I was frequently called to deliver, and altho’ that degree of prepara- tion was not continued when I obtained more practice and fluency, yet I never re- gretted having submitted to that labor, nor ever without necessity addressed a Congn until having premeditated the subject of the address being persuaded that diligent effort in every, and more especially in Pas toral and ministerial employment, is a ered duty, and that the unction of the Holy Spirit is not only given in answer to prayer at the time when a discourse is delivered, but also in the Study or Clo- set where it is prepared.

In June 1805 I received the painful intelligence of the decease of my dear Mother, which affected me more than Words can express. About the same time I re- ceived the appointment to be Assistant of the Sle Brns Labourer, still retaining My former Situation in the School. Sub- sequently the office of Co. Labourer with Br Arm, on account of the infirmities of the latter, was committed to me and I ob- tained a private residence in the Sle Brns house, altho’ spending the greater part of the day in the School. In the beginning of the Year 1809 My strength seemed ex- hausted by continual exertion. My health appeared to decline, and some relaxation was thought the necessary.

A strong desire which I had once more to visit my aged Father and my native Country induced me the resolution to set out for Germany notwithstanding the war which was then carried on and the rigid exclusion of Eng- land from all communication with the European Continent by the System of Na- polien. In reliance upon divine protection I proceeded in May by way of London and Harwich to the Island of Heligoland near the mouth of the Elbe, which was then the Depot of English Merchandize. From thence I was with some other passengers conveyed about 60 miles across the Ocean to a lonely part of the Westphalian coast in a small boat in which during a whole night we were exposed to the most imminent danger. When landing on the next evening and delivered into the hands of people who made exorbinant gains by the necessities of travellers whom they might deliver to the French for Military execution, I was by then forwarded in an open vehicle on bye- roads and thro’ forests during a beau- tiful moonlight night, in constant dread of being seized.

The Lord however was my protector and after varions adventures I arrived safely in the City of Bremen where Alderman Tideman whose Sons I had educated at Hennersdorf give me a kind and hospitable reception. Among the Brns Society in this city I spent a few edifying days, holding some meetings with them. By way of Brunswick, Where I enjoyed much friendship at Br Stobwasser’s house, I proceeded to Gnadau where my dear Father met me with whom I then walked to Barby. Scarcely had I spent or week under the Parental roof during which I became acquainted with my Stepmother also when on Sunday after I had preached in Hall the Brns Chapel intimation was given that the Mayor of the Town, by order of the neighbouring Prefect intended to ar- me as as an English Spy.

Immedi- ately therefore I was obliged to decamp across the river Elbe; and now proceed- ed to Hernhut and other places in Lusatia to visit the members of the U.E.C. whose Sessions I attended for an hour and to enjoy intercourse with many friends. On my return I spent some days with me Father in secret seeing also my only Brother and Sister and then went again by way of Bremen and Varel, to embark for Heligoland which was done during the night at a lonely part of the coast. In Heligoland I waited 2 days in a crowd- ed and uncomfortable lodging for the sailing of the English Packet which took me to Harwich after a three days Sail; during the night my only couch was the hard floor of the Cabin, with my Portmanteau for a pillow. The hardships of this journey did not injure but ma- terially invigorate my health, so that after my return to Fairfield in the Month of Sept, I was again ready to resume my active and laborious duty.

My scholastic employment however were on the point of terminating, for I soon recd a call to be Minister and Labourer of the Congn at Bedford. Before entering on that office my Marriage become neces- sary, and with respect to the choice of or partner for life, I now happily enabled to leave myself implicitly to the direction of my divine Lord. After much conside- ration on my part and that of my eccle- siastical superiors, the Sle Sr Elizth Graves of Bristol was fixed upon, and after my arrival in that city was accepted by me the proposal being made to her, she ac- cepted it as coming from the hands of the Lord. In Bristol I enjoyed so much friendship and kindness, that the place ever since has been peculiarly dear to me. From thence I also paid a visit to my venerable friend and Br Clemens in Bath, and in both places preached several times with freedom.

Decr 14th 1809 our Marriage took place, being performed at St. James Church by the Revd. T.T. Biddulph. My wife had the affliction on the very day of her marriage to be informed of the depar- ture of her Father, whose funeral I attended before we left Bristol. In her I had precisely such a Partner as was good for me, altho’ her difficulty of hearing impeded conversation, and was on many accounts afflictive to her, My manner towards her altho’ I always esteemed her was not as kind and affectionate as she deserved. Spirituality and humility of mind, prudence and circumspection of conduct, and an affectionate faithful- ness of disposition together with domes- tich habits and love of retirement were the distinguishing features of he character. She was given me in mer- cy put up with my failings and at- tended with watchful assiduity to my wants. In office also she was useful and by conversations with the Srs in those Congns, I have served was a blessed help-mate to me.

Another mercy of the Lord was the gift of a faithful servant whom we obtained immediately upon our arrival at Bedford and who, while I write this, has continued for 21 Years with us, acquitting herself with exemplary faithfulness, and Making our interest and pleasure her own. But while I write she as well as I is with drawn from activity. Domestic affliction such as we had not hitherto experienced, is sent, and doubtless sent in mercy & compassion lest we be condemned with the World. But to return to My Narrative: soon after our Marriage we proceeded from Bristol to Fairfield, when at the house of Br & Sr Foster we experienced much kind- ness. On Christmas Eve an expectation being entertained that I was to preach a farewell Sermon the concourse in the Chapel was such that a Second Service after the first became necessary to acco- modate the multitude.

Jany 7th 1810 Br T. Moore ordained me a Deacon of the Brns Church, my wife being at the same time accepted an Acoluth. The 11th of the same month we arrived at Bedford & were on the 14th when the Anniversary of that Congn was celebrated introduced by my predecessor Br S. Church as its future Labourers. Goodness and mercy appointed me to this post at which I laboured 3 Years with delight, and which with the late Br J. Hartley I may call my halcyon station. With zeal I entered upon my Office and with forbearance & affection was I received, and treated by the Congn. Uniform peace and brother- by union distinguished the course of this dear flock and few occurences of a dis- tressing nature marred My happiness. In addition to My Ministerial duties which were laborious but pleasing to me I had the inspection of the Girls Boarding school, which added to my comfort, and at which I was occupied 3 hours daily in the work of instruction.

It was likewise an addition to my opportunities of serving My Saviour to preach regularly in several neighbouring villages. In how far My activity was prompt- ed by a single view to the Glory of God, and the Salvation of Sinners, I do not venture to pro- nounce; difficult as I find it positively to ascertain my own motives for acting, I ap- prehand that a constitutinal and vestless disposition, finding personal gratification in being constantly employed, had a share in it. The Lord however blessed my endeavour and covered My Sins, which were greater and more numerous than I can describe My reproofs of others were often severe, and not couched at all times in the language of compassion, and alas! how apt are we to forget our own blemishes in attempt- ing to rectify those of others. To my great Surprise I received to- wards the end of the year 1812 a call to be Congn helper and Minister of Fulneck and the neighbouring Country Congns, and with my wife to be Labourer of the Marrd Choir there.

It was a hard stroke, and while feeling the pangs of sepearation from a most beloved flock, I foresaw the difficul- ties of the extensive sphere of labour wch awaited me, and the numerous perplexi- ties connected with my new appointment. However having the conviction that the Sum- mons came from the Lord, obedience was my only and immediate choice. The farewell at Bedford was mutually affecting and painful. Feby 3d 1813 we arrived at Fulneck, and after I had been by Br. T. Moore ordained a Presby- ter of the Brns Church, I entered upon my labours with alacraty. The Presidency of the E.C., and the general oversight of the Brns Congns. in Yorkshire added to my responsibilities, and I required more & circumspection humility, than I possessed.

A place Congn has peculiar advantages and excellencies of the inhabitants have truly Spiritual minds, otherwise it is apt to afford oppor- tunities for scandal and bickering. Among the widely scattered Brn & Srs in the County, I found much scope for exertion, and perceived that My labours were not in vain in the Lord. The atten- dance at the public services at Fulneck was generally numerous, and instances of awakened and converted sinners were not wanting whom I hope to meet in Para- dise as my joy and crown of rejoicing. While on the other hand many pleasing hopes of my born babes in Christ were disappointed, and many tender plants seemed to be nipped in the bud by the blasts of the World, I had cause for both weeping and rejoicing. A year after my arrival at Fulneck I experienced another remarkable pre- servation of my life.

I had occasion to visit an aged Sister 5 miles from home to administer the Communion to her, On my return the Horse on which I rode threw me on hard frozen and stony ground, I es- caped with my temples bleeding and my shoulder injured, so as to oblige me to car- ry my arm some time in a sling, with- out receiving any permanent hurt, & providentially our Medical Man rode past at the very moment and lent me has immediate assistance. Another call was this for gratitude, and a new sur- render of my all to my Saviour’s Service. In the Year 1818 I was invited by the U.E.C. to attend the Synod of the Brns Unity and proceeded to Hernhut accompanied by my wife & infant daughter Elizabeth Graves, who had been born to us Oct. 2d 1815. This dear and only child was an object of My tenderest solicitude. I baptized her the Sunday succeeding her birth into the death of Jesus with indescribable feelings, the responsibility of training an immortal soul with parental fidelity for the Kingdom of heaven lay with all its weight upon my mind, but many are the mistakes, omissions and neglects of which I stand convicted before my God in this sacred duty.

Indeed my Offi- cial duties left me little leasure to devote to the personal instruction of my own child. In her unfolding faculties I had, combined with much gratification also a practi- cal exemplification of the depravity of hu- man nature from earliest youth. The affectionate disposition and facility in ac- quiring knowledge, which we discerned in our dear daughter gave as much pleasure and compensated for the pains which the correction of her evil temper gave us. That the grace of Christ our Saviour might migh- tily lay hold of her, and direct her whole heart and Soul into the path of peace and holiness continues to be my hearty prayer. On the journey to and from Hernhut I had a last opportunity of visiting my faithful and aged Father, who soon after fell asleep in Jesus. At the Synod, besides at- tending in the capacity of Deputy for all the Yorkshire Congns I acted as Secretary and also superintended the copying of the Synodal results.

In that occasion I became more intimately acquainted with, and more firmly attached to the principles of the Brns Unity, being also more clearly convinced that she carries on the course of God, and has a worth far beyond what her small numbers and unobtrusive habits lead men generally to conceive. In Sept the same year I returned to my former Situ- ation in Fulneck. Here I also availed my- self of many opportunities of co-operating with Children of God in other Denominations, considering it to be a peculiar calling of our Church, to help in uniting the scat- tered children of God. In Bedford already it was a pleasing duty to me, in concert with the Revd Messrs Legh Richmond and Saml Hilyard to aid in the establishment of Bible Associations in every part of the County, and now I preached and assisted at Public religious meetings in different parts of Yorkshire as far as appeared to me consistant with My more immediate charge.

My design was to combine with conscien- tious Attachment to our division, of the fold of Jesus, a charitable union with all other children of God, and without compromise of principle to aid in proving that one is our Master even Christ, and that we all are Brethren. Various sorrowful occurrances during the latter part of my residence in Fulneck materially diminished My comforts and impacted My usefulness, I neither can nor will exculpate myself (The maxim “avoid all appearance of evil” I had not by any means learned and reduced to practice,) Nor can the Searcher of hearts pronounce me guiltless. My own consci- ence charges me with unfaithfulness in secret and private duties; and while I was always active in whatever was commit- ted to me, My activity was not always directed by the genuine spirit of humility meekness and love.

(In the beginning of 1824 a visitation from the U.E.C being held at Fulneck, the want of a judicious & impartial investigation of affairs made me long for my release from the arduous and difficult station, which I held for nearly 12 Years, more especially as I could no longer act in concert with my near est fellow Labourer.) During the Provincial Conference which in July of the Year just mentioned was held at Fairfield, a call arrived from the U.E.C. for me, proposing to My consideration the office of Minister. and Congn Labourer at Bristol. This for once was an appointment which coincided with my wishes, and which I should have felt inclined to have chosen for my- self. Deeply affecting was my farewell of Yorkshire, where I had both laboured and suffered for nearly 12 years during the most active period of my life, a great number precious Souls to whom the Lord and His spirit blessed my feeble labours, will he hold in remembrance by me while I live, and to their continued prayers on my behalf I attribute the enjoyment of man– fold benefits. “During 7 Years,” said the Head of a family to me, “Your Name has not for a single day been omitted in our prayers.” My Valedictory Sermon was preached at Fulneck on Sept 12th 1824 to a very large concourse of people, and on the same day I introduced Br J. Holmes as my Succes- sor.

Septr 16th I arrived with My dear Wife and Daughter at Bristol, Br & Sr Okely our predecessors, having previously left that place for Dublin. Wide as the field for active labour was in this new station, I felt it as repose after toil, the mental trials connected with it being much smaller than those in My former office. The previous acquaintance which at several former visits I had made with many members of the Congn at Bristol, greatly facilitated my speedy familiarity with my incumben- cies, and with the souls committed to my care. I do not know that I have enjoyed life during any proceeding period more than during my residence at Bristol, which while I write has continued for 6 1/2 years. The Lord dealt very mercifully with me, gave me favor in the hearts of many not only of our own communion but of Servants and Children of God in various Churches, whose friendship was valuable and profitable to me. The Congn increased considerably and many truly devoted souls were added to it. My Saviour owned and blessed me beyond My utmost expectations. In 1825 I attended the second time at a Synod of our Church, being deputed by Bristol and several other Congns. My stay at Hernhut was agreeable & busy, close confinement not only durg the Synodal sessions but during the remaining hours of the day, when much writing and translating devolved upon me made the long to return to my less sedentary employment at home, where after a very rapid journey of only 10 days from Hern- hut arrived again Augst 28th (Br William Mallalieu was my pleasant companion in going, and Br Blumer that Janr in returning.)

In addition to the ordinary labours of My Ministry, I was in various ways occupied with endeavours to promote our missionary cause both in and out of Bristol. I being perhaps part of the accomplish- ment of my Mothers prayer, that I took peculiar pleasure in advocating the extention of our Saviours Kingdom among the heathen, and had many doors for so doing opened to me by Providence. In 1829 I undertook I extensive journies by commission from the London Association in aid of the Brns Missions, and was both delighted and edified by finding open doors and open hearts, and unfeigned cordiallity and cooperation in all places and among all communities and their Ministers whom I visited.

The latter part of these 2 journies was however rendered peculiarly pain- ful and distressing to me by the intelli- gence which I received at the close of a day of arduous duty, that My dear child had been seized with a dangerous illness at Fulneck, where for 3 years she had been seperated from us at School, and that her Mother during my absence had gone to see and nurse her, the accounts being very alarming none probably can conceive what I felt, except a parent of on only child, just on the point finishg her education, and of whom pleasing ex- pectations of fruit from the seed carefully sown and entertained, such a child I ap- prehended might have been called into eternity at a distance of 400 miles from me, the anxious suspense in which I was held for several days was the more painful as my appointed duty required that in this state of mind I should travel and preach going strangers day by day.

In my return home the intelligence received was still more alarming, and I was constrained with the utmost speed to proceed to Fulneck where thro’ mercy I found the child somewhat better under her Mothers care, and the faithful atten- dance on the part of the School. During this trial I found it difficult to pray with that Submission, which I had often urged upon others, I did pray fervently for the child, and consider her gradual recovery as an express answer to prayer. Next to the consoling effect of communion with My Lord, and the powerful relief obtained by speaking to him as a friend, the sympathy of my Brn & Srs was truly soothing to me. I had received many good things at the hand of the Lord, it was time that I should submissively receive evil or rather what at the time appears to be evil, being painful to flesh and blood. Active duties I had long exercised, passive duties I found it much more difficult to bear.

Trials were needed to teach me patience and confidence, to preserve me from presumption and undue earthly attachments, to fit me for bearing with the infirmities and sharing in the suf- ferings of others, in fire, to fit me both for my Ministry and for entrance in to the everlasting Kingdom of Christ. In Octr 1829 our child was so far restored as to come home with her Mother, and since then has continued with us be- ing cheifly instructed by me. Thus for our late Br wrote in the beginning of the Year 1831. It is to be regretted that he did not bring his Memoir down to a later period, but this he was probably prevented from doing by the increased deficiency in his sight. The following information has been princi- pally furnished by his afflicted Widow:

My late dear Husband had enjoyed an uninterupted state of good health untill the month of May 1830 when having set out on horseback to visit a member of the Congn who resided at a distance of some miles he was overtaken by heavy rain and not having an opportunity of procuring a change of clothes thus laid the foundation a dangerous disease. This continued for some months gradually to gain ground though without causing any intermission in his labours, until the Autumn of that year when a very laborious Missionary Tour in which the engaged added so alarm- ingly to its progress as to make it needful for him to yeild to the advice of his medi- cal attendants, and abstain for the pre- sent from engaging in his ministerial functions. This was to him a severe strike; for labour was his enjoyment, and his rest was in activity. The Separation was felt by his flock not less than by himself, And it was one great source of consolation to his mind, to know that for his works’ sake, he had so large an interest in their love & in their prayers

He thus Writes in his Diary Jany 26th 1831 “The Various Means and Medical re medies hitherto used for the recovery of My impoured health, having proved in effectual, My faithful and able attendants Dr Pritchard and Br Saml Millard di rected me to proceed to Bath, partly with a view to use warm bathing, but chief by for the purpose of repose and retire ment. Having therefore yesterday at the celebration of the 76th Anniversary of the Bristol Congn, which is so dear to me, and has lauded me with marks of kindness, taken a temporary leave of the same, and having committed the Ministrations in the Chapel to the Brn Seifferth & T. West, in expectation of Br Jonn Smith of Ockbrook soon arriv ing for the present supply of My Office; being also assured of the fervent prayers of many in my behalf, I set out this morn ing at 10 o Clock in a Chaise, accompanied by My Wife and Daughter. The D.T. for the day was: “If thou couldst believe, all things and possible to him that believeth.” May my faith be strengthened, and these words of my Saviour be verified in me! He mercifully granted me an easy mind, and a simple reliance upon Him who will do all things well. The D. W. was: “Unto you that fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness shall anise with healing in his Wings.” At the and of six weeks we re turned from Bath, My dear Husband gra dually improving in health from that time, and (with the exception of reading, which the still remaining dimness of his sight prevented) being able to re sume his ministerial duties with ease. March 12th the dlay after our re turn was his Birthday, on which occa sion he has the following remarks in his Diary.

” The D.W. from Prov. 3d 11 & 12 My Son despise not this chastening of the Lord, neither be weary of his correction, For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth even as a Father the Son in whom he delighteth” is strikingly appropriate for this completion of the 51st Year of my life. O Lord, my God and Redeemer, thou hast chastened me, but not in anger. Thou hast wounded me in the tenderest part, but it is with a view to heal My sinsick soul. Forbid that I shou’d despise thy correction, or be weary of it! Accomplish thy design with me in this infliction of thy rod I can distinctly trace abundant and very undeserved mercies mingled with thy judgments. Did I place culpable depen- dence in bodily health and earthly en- joyments, shew me my impotence, and wean me from things visible. Were my eyes improperly fixed on external objects and on other mens Characters and did I in attempting to be faithful in office forgot faithfulness to my own soul, teach to by the privation of clear sight to look more carefully within, & to bask in the light of thy Spirit! Help me to comfort others with the comfort Where with then comfort test me? Give me an in- crease of humility, Sympathy, and an affectionate demeanour! Let the bright dawn of this morning be a pledge of a return of brighter days, and still per- mit me to serve thee on earth if con- sistant with thy good and perfect will, if not prepare me for thyself. Be thy Passion and death my only hope in life, and when walking through the valley of the shadow of death.”

His health continued in apparently the same state till about two months pre- vious to his decease, when his appetite began to fail, and he was unable to the solid food. His strength was now visibly declining from day to day, and although still continuing in the discharge of laborious Ministerial duties, it was evident that unless a material im- provement soon took place, we could not expect to see him much longer among us. On the 15th Octr. he went to Brockwear near Tintern, to lay the foundation of a Chapel there, a cause in which he felt warmly interested, as he hoped it Would be the means under the divine blessing, of conveying the saving know- ledge of Christ to a very destitute and degraded population. Thongh suffering under great weakness of body he was enabled to go thro’ the duty, and in the evening addressed a Sermon to a very crowded auditory. The exertion however was too great for his strength, and in his return next day be appeared to suffer under great exhaustion, sleeping in the Cabin during the whole of the voyage.

On Sunday the 21st in a state of extreme weakess he entered upon his duties as usual. At the Congn meeting at 10 he spoke on the D.W. for the day. “The memory of the just is blessed.” A Subject the more touching because while he treated of it every mind was impressed with the beleif that the truth could be soon applicable to himself. He afterwards preached with great clearness and warmth on the Words of our Saviour to the Paralytic man, Matth. 11 2 “Son be of good cheer thy sins be forgiven thee.” This occasion was one of a most affecting nature, and few of those who were present will easily forget it. The discourse was listened to as the Words of a dying man, the Congn felt as it he was taking his public leave of them, and participated in the feelings of the Elders of the Church of Ephesns, Sorrowing most of all that they should see his face to more. In the after noon he made an attempt to keep the Widows Choir Meeting but was obliged by weakness to dismiss them after a short prayer.

On Monday he went to the house of a kind friend in Clifton, as it was hoped that change of air and scene might be of tem- porary use to him. But this was not the case, his strength rapidly declined. and a drowsiness came on him, so that near- by the whole of that day and Tuesday he was in a dying state. On Tuesday a friend called, and found him on the bed, it was remarked, I fear you feel very weak. “Weak, weak, weak,” was his reply. In a somewhat lower tone. “How very weak I am, My Saviour well can see.” When looking round, “I long to be delivered from the body.” You never felt so before, did you? it was asked. Oh no! it it seems strange but one is so useless lying here.” An Affectionate message was delivered from Br. P. La Trobe, adding that he would gladly come down to assist him, had not pressing Missionary business prevented. These words seemed to revise his latent energy and he said with earnestness. “I wish he would come and preach a mission- ary Sermon here.” give my best love to them all and tell him I have a missionany Ser- mon to preach on Sunday week, and if he would come and take it, that would indeed be a good thing.” While promising to de- liver the message, it was asked, “but do you look forward to that?” As of recol- lecting his state, be calmly said, “I look forward to nothing.

On Wednesday he expressed his desire to return home, having prepared his Sermon for that evening, and being parti- cular desirous to Preach as he said he had some delightful meditations on the subject during the morning. He was con- ducted down stairs and into the Car with dificulty; on our arrival at home all his strength seemed to be gone, and after being supported into his Study he fainted away. By the application of suitable means he revived, and being asked how he felt, replied, “I am in very blessed Meditation.” In the afternoon he was not quite himself but spoke rather incoherently, and repeated- ly asked if it was not time for the evening Service being affraid lest we should deceive him. About 5 o cleck he became quite sen- sible, said he was very weak, and asked who was going to Preach? and when I said Br Seifferth he seemed quite contented. I asked him if he felt our Saviours pre- sence? he said “I feel very happy and long to go.” I said I thought it would not be long. He said, “Do you think so? catching at my words as if quite delighted with the idea. With the Assistance of a Br we got him up stairs to bed, and called in Dr. Pretch- ard, who prescribed for him, but with out affording relief. During the whole of the evening he had a troublesome rattle in his throat, be enquired if we heard it and made the remark: “That will carry me a good way to night.”

About nine oClock he fell into a deep sleep from which he never awoke, but peacefully and hap- pily breathed his last about 2 o Clock in the morning of Thursday the 25th Octr 1832, after a Pilgrimage of 52 years & 7 Months. Thus was this faithful Servant called and by his gracious Master into his eternal rest – a rest, into which, more especially during the latter period of his illness, he expressed his most ardent desire soon to en- ter. When his health was suffering under the first attack, and his speedy dissolution was by some apprehended, and by himself thought not improbable, he expressed his perfect resignation to the will of God, whe- ther for life or for death, but now he longed for repose, his all absorbing desire was, “to depart, and to be with Christ.” He said not much in his latter days rela- tive to his departure, but what be did say showed that his Mind was in a state of heavenly peace, “looking for and hasting to the coming of the Son of Man.” That Sa- viour whom it had been his delight to recommend to others as the only Refuge in the day of trouble comforted him with his rod and his staff when passing thro’ the Shadowy vale of Death.

Yet while we cannot but rejoice in the blessedness that is now his eternal portion. and glorify God in his behalf, this Congn deeply feels it loss in being deprived of a faithful and affectionate Pastor. Great was the love and esteem in which they held him. It is in moments of difficulty that the genuine feelings are elicted, and never perhaps would the strength of the bond that united them with him have been fully understood, had it not pleased the Lord to lay his afflicting hand upon our late dear Brother’s health. Then it was evinced how near their interest lay at his heart, and law Sympathetic a share they took in his Afflictions. His temporary restoration in which his people received him as one lent to them from the dead, he ever consi dered to be in answer to the faithful prayers which there is reason to believe were conti ually presented to the throne of Grace in his behalf: And this was this dispensation ren dered by the grace of the Lord, a means of spiri tual blessing to his flock as well as to himself. Endowed by him from whom every good gift proceedeth, with strong mental powers and great energy and decision of Character, these endowments which when Misdirected, prove but a snare to the possesser and an injury to others, being in him sanctified by the Grace of God, were devoted to the welfare of his fellow creatures, and the extention of his Saviours kingdom. In whatever sphere of life he had been thrown, he would have been an active and enterprising man. But his heart having been won by a Saviours love, and his mind taught the vast supe riority of eternal over temporal and visi ble things, he saw that to be made the hum ble instrument of saving loving Souls was an honor above every other, and to this point he directed all his energies of mind & body.

It was constantly apparrent that he had one great object in view – the Service of his Lord nor was he ready to allow mere consideration of difficulty or labour for a moment to interrupt any plan that seemed likely to advance it. This Singleness of view could not but win the respect even of those to whom his uncompromising and (as he has him- self with humility acknowledged) occasion- ally harsh manner might have given offence. In the discharge of his Pastoral duties he was unwearied, regularly visiting every member of his flock and attending at the bed of the sick.

As a Minister, he was a scribe well instructed unto the Kingdom of Heaven. His naturally strong talents were furnishd with materials by assiduous Study. The word of God was the mine in which he con- tinually delved, and having in his ownh heart felt the vitality of its truths, he was enabled to place them before his heavens with the clearness of spiritual discernment, and that freshness which self experience alone can impart. His discourses were distin- guished by great perspicuity and power, his mind readily grasped the bearings of his subject, and he had the faculty of placing it in a strong light before his hearers. But above all there was a warmth of heart and an earnestness for the sal- vation of souls, which under the operation of the Holy Spirit brought home the truth to the heart, and we have with humility to thank the Lord that his Ministry here, as well as in former stations, has been attended by his distinguished blessing, that many Souls have through him been brought to a knowledge of their lost state by nature, and been led to the cross of Christ, and found pardon and peace thro’ them, and that the weak believer has been strengthened, the desponding encouraged the mourner comtorted, and many, we trust, established and built up in the faith. It was his delight to present to his fel- low Sinners that salvation, which was pro- cured by the sufferings and death of the incarnate Son of God, in all its fulness and freeness and to point him to the Lamb of God as taking away the Sins of the World. Yet he withheld no part of the counsel of God. He insisted upon the vital nature of true faith in Christ, and the conse- quent necessity of its purifying the heart and manifesting itself in works of love. His Sermons had therefore always a practical character, evangelical prin- ciples being traced to their legitimate operations in the Mind and their effect upon the life. He was well acquainted with the deceitful workings of the human heart, and with unsparing hand would tear away the disguises under which they were concealed. No hearer was allowd to forget himself, and his own case under the consideration of bare generalities, but the Preacher by making not indeed personal but individual application of the truth, ??? to manifest it so as to “come mind himself to every mans conscience in the sight of God.”

May the bright paths of active oper- ation which he had in the Lord’s service (and for which we ascribe not the glory to him, but to the grace of God that was in him) serve as an example to sti- mulate us all. This defect let us avoid they were to him a cause of painful humilation: but let us recognize the truths of a devoted diciple of Christ conspicuous in this his Servant, and pray that he may have grace its follow him in as far as he followed the Divine Master. May the Lord be graciously pleased to pour down a double portion of his Spirit on those who are ??? privileged to labour in has vineyard! and may he call forth and duly qualify many others who may be willing to spend themselves and be spent in His Service!