The course of Life of Abigail Bentley
I was born at Wyke in the Parish of Birstal, on April the 23rd, 1722. My parents were of the Church of England and brought me up in the same. As far as I can remember my first thought of being saved was through hearing my mother speak with another [about] what time children began to be answerable for sin, and they thought at seven years. This had such an impression on my mind that I often went alone and wished God would let me die before that time, for then I took it for granted I should be saved. When I was about seven years I began to be afraid of dying. My parents strove to preserve me as far as their circumstances permitted them, in my eleventh year I was sent to live with a neighbour where I heard and saw all sorts of bad things. Had not our dear Saviour had a particular hand over me, I should have been ruined in Soul and body. When I was there, they sent me into a field to work where I was so cold that I had no feeling of hands nor feet, nor could I come to any house. All of a sudden it came in my mind that God could warm me and I grew directly warm. This was the first time I knew that God could hear us or know anything of us. After some time I left this place and removed into another place that was more agreeable. Here I took much to reading and intended to be very good, but amidst it all I attained to no satisfaction, but a constant condemnation followed me with everything I did.
So far her own writing.
About this time she began to hear Mr. Ingham and when the societies of the Brethren was settled she was one of the first of that number. When the Single Sisters’ Economy was settled at Oxhaire, she after some time had leave to be one of them where she continued for a while, some time, but her being of a very legal turn made it very heavy for her amidst of the Sisters.
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In the year ’42 November the 13th she was received into the congregation.
And as it could not be perceived that she got any satisfaction in her heart the labourers thought it more proper for her to go and live with two or three Sisters who was under the Brethren’s care which she took very much to heart and could hardly be persuaded to do. As [it] was however thought for the best she took it so very near that it brought on a violent sickness for as she herself-expressed it could never bear to be deferred of the fellowship of living in the midst of Sisters. And yet at the same she was in her heart very dry and her being so very self-righteous made it very heavy for her to feel as a sinner, dependent alone upon our Saviour and this has been a means of her course being somewhat heavy in the congregation. And so she continued removing for some time from place to place by the direction of the Brethren when at last she got leave to go and live with some Sisters at the home where she began to feel a little more of herself and was brought in to very great concern about her salvation. But as she was
once coming from a meeting this verse was particularly applied to her heart,
“Out of pure grace unmerited, salvation showers on our head, merely because the Lord had died, because a Lamb was crucified, are we invited to possess a throne, before the world was made ordained our own.” And she was from this time made sure of her election. When the Choir House was begun at Fulneck she with some others out of the economies got leave from Richard Mortimer to remove with them to that in Pudsey, but here she did not spend her time so cheerfully as could have been wished
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for she lost many happy hours for her own heart through looking so much at others and being so very strict with herself she could not easily look over things that some times occurred amongst her companions. Yet at the same time we cannot deny but as to her true heart to her Choir and the congregation we was fully persuaded which in ’54 she had the grace to be showed itself evidently on various occasions. In the year 1754 July the disciple and discipless paid a visit to the congregation and thus the earnest request of the Sister of that Economy to come into the Choir House at Fulneck. The disciple took it into consideration, and it was made out that the said economy should be entirely broken up, and so she with the rest of her Sisters came here into this House where she continued very cheerful for some time and could not express herself enough of the joy she felt that she was now got to her right home. But through her very strict way of thinking she brought herself into many great heaviness and deprived herself of the Holy Communion for some time. She spoke with her labouress in a very open-hearted manner of her whole situation, and it was plain to be perceived that she must be dealt with particular love and tenderness which her labourers showed to her at that time, and it was a great means of bringing her to a clearness again in her heart. In the year 1763, complaining much of a pain in her head, she was advised to a cold bath which removed the pain in her head, but soon after it was perceived that the disorder settled upon her lungs and she was much troubled with a violent cough, but in a short time grew better again, and it was made out that she should go for some time into the
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Children’s Economy wash kitchen where she showed the greatest faithfulness. But through the disorder in her lungs she was obliged to be taken back again, and she herself believed that it would prove a means of her dissolution. Thus, she continued in a pretty cheerful way and was made use of as an overseer in a workroom. And it was the greatest favour to her to do anything for her Choir and never thought anything too much but on the contrary, looked upon it as the greatest grace and favour. September the 16th she had the favour to be added amongst the company of intercessors which proved a particular blessing for her own heart that she had the favour to have an hour to speak with our Saviour in a particular manner for her own and his peoples cause. It was plain to be perceived amidst all her faults and wants that her heart was truly connected with our Saviour and attached to her choir, but the sinner track being not always clear to her interrupted her in that tender attachment to his person. In the beginning of October she took entirely to the sick room where she spent her time cheerily in fullness. When at any time she was spoken with, she always complained of her not feeling herself in that near connection sinnerlike connection with our Saviour as she thought she should have.