The life of the S. Sister Sarah Robinson as wrote by herself.

I was born in Hallifax March 8th 1712

My parents brought me up very carefully & instructed me in my principles of the Church of England. I can remember drawings from our Savior from my very Infancy, but being of a fret ful & anxious temper I was oftentimes uneasy lest I shou’d offend God. In the night time in my sleep, I often dreamt of the dissolution of the World & day of Judgment: which made me very uneasy to think how it wou’d be with me at that time. My Father died when I was about ten years of age, & my Mother being left a widow. she moved with me & two younger sisters out of Hallifax to a place called Ovenden my Mother being a person deply concern’d for her Salvation, many times wept & prayed day & night that both her she & her children might please the Lord, which made a great impress ion on me. I went frequently with her to Church, and was very attentive to what the Minister spoke, & took a pleasure in so doing. but this did not satisfy me: it came often into my mind how will it it would be with me when I die– & being exceedingly frighten’d with Thunder & Lightning I wish’d it might always happen on a Sunday when I was at Church, for then I thought, if the day of Judgment shou’d come, the Lord wou’d have mercy upon me because I was in such a holy place as I then look’d upon the Church to be. When I was grown up I had an inclination to go to service and accordingly went to several, but still retain’d my religious turn of mind, In my 21st year one of my near relations who was then in York. sent for me to go & live with her, as she had always a great love for me, I was glad of this, tho my Mother did not like to part with me as she was then left alone, this relation kept a wines Tavern & I was to be her chamber maid: but being quite a stranger to the hurry & trouble of such a city, & seeing & heareing all kind of vanitys, of which I was before in a great measure ignorant it frightned me very much seeing myself expos’d to many dangers, I spoke

2

I spoke seriously to my Mistriss with many tears about & beg’d her to keep a watchful eye over me, as I was quite unacquainted with the manner of the place, She spoke tenderly to me promis’d to care for me, as much as lay in her power; so I more chearful in my place, & went on in my usial way, reading and praying to the Lord to keep & preserve me and I believe he heard my prayers. When my year was out my Mother wrote me a tender letter, desiring me to come home to her again, I cou’d have had several good places, but cou’d not bear to stay against her mind. I went home but still wanted a fine place, in order to prefer myself, & it just happen’d that a Gentleman come from Wales to Hallifax, who was to take possession of an Estate called Kirkles & they wanting a servant, my Mother got me the place: accordingly I went to live with them & my Master & Mistress lov’d me very much. about this time I began to be thoughtful about going to the Sacrament & toald my mother therof she desired me to advise with a friend of hers. who was a religious person; accordingly I went & told him my whole heart with many tears. He spoke with me about the threatning of God to those that do not fear him, & his promises to them that love Him. He told me what a good thing it was to have a promise to rely upon on ones death bed. but I not finding any promise in my heart, & not being willing to be without, I wrote myself some in order to have them by me, when I came to my death bed; such as this! Come unto me all ye that are weary &c. & many others out of the psalms and other good books, for I was seldom without me in my pocket. I remember once going to clean my Mistress’s room & there opening my little book, I found this passage which said, that God did not require so much of a poor Servant as of a rich Master, which rejoyc’d me very much to think that God was so good to poor Servants but then a fear came in my mind because we were only two Servants & cou’d therefore only go to Church in the after noon I was affraid my Mrs wou’d take it amiss if I shou’d ask her to let me go in the Morning I told my Mother of it she beg’d me not to be affraid, but speak with my Mrs, which I did and she was much pleas’d to find, that I was so well inclin’d & fetch’d me her own preparation book to read, which I perus’d

3

I perus’d dilligently the whole week, the prayers being much longer then my own. On Sunday Morning she told me as my Mother liv’d near the Church, & I intended going to the Sacrament, she wou’d give me leave to go & stay there all the day. this happen’d on Palm Sunday. The Minister spoke much about the Sacrament, & said it was better to go poor & unworthy, than not go at all, which comforted me a little. but still I found myself asham’d on account of my unfitness; Our Savior was near to me. tho I knew him not, for when I had receiv’d the Sacrament, it was as if a load was taken of my heart, & I con’d beg Him with tears to keep me that nothing might happen, which cou’d prove a dishonour to His name. Soon after this, I remov’d with the family to Kirkles Hall, where my Lady put me with another serious & well meaning person into the Nursery & we together had pressure in our religious devotion. We had prayers twice a day in the family, which I always attended and also went frequently to church & to the holy Sacrament. When Mr Ingham come about preaching in this Country, as soon as my Mrs heard of it, she sent an invitation to him to come & preach in Harchet Church, accordingly he came & stay’d in the family some days, we had private meetings Night and Morning for all that pleas’d to come as long as he stay’d, as soon as I heard him, I look’d upon him as an Angel of God, & made opportunity when I cou’d to speak with him alone tho’ always fearing my fellow servants wou’d find it out and I shou’d be treated with scorn by them, which also was the case, notwithstanding this I persuaded two of those I was most intimate with to go with me to hear him once More which they did, He exhorted us to love one another and not forget to read the holy scriptures & so we parted. My Mistress by some circumstances that had happen’d was prejudice against Mr Ingham, & forbid me ever going to

4

hear him again, threatening at the same time, if even I did, I shou’d lose my place, this affected me not a little. for my Eternal Salvation lay very near me at that time. I thought by Mr Inghams doctrine I might perhaps be led into the night way to obtain it. I wrote for advice in this case to a religious Society with whom my Mother was join’d, in answer they advis’d me not to leave my place on this account they believ’d he was a good man but a Stranger & no me knew how things might turn out., I complied herein and stay’d in the family 5 or 6 years longer, but any little misfortune that happen’d to the child, I nurs’d put me up on thoughts that the Lord was displeas’d with my being here, & so concluded to leave my place & go home to my Mother, where I con’d serve the Lord (as I thought) more dilligently. But when I got home I had not enough of the world, but thought I shou’d like to get into place again which I did & stay’d there about two years. My Mother being old & infirm I resolv’d to go & live with her again. Which I also did. Still retaining the greatest respect for Mr Ingham as formerly. I soon inquired if he ever came to preach in Hallifax. My Mother told me there were some people come to preach at a place call’d Worlds End. not far from the place I liv’d. that they preach’d good does time, & she shou’d like me to go & hear them, I had not much likeing to it. as the meetings were kept in a private house: however as my Mother desired it I went the week following. When I got there Br Hutchings who kept the meeting had begun to sing which I lik’d very well the text was, Behold this is the day of Salvation. now the Lord was pleas’d to work upon my heart. so that I cou’d heartily desire him to let me know my day of Salvation Saying. Lord! deny me of to grant me what thou wilst but only deny me not this one thing, that I may know I have an interest in a bleeding Savior, the Lord who is ever good was pleas’d to show me the vileness of my heart: and also gave me comfort

5

comfort in these words. But we beleive through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, we shall be saved even as they. the weeks following I went again to hear Br Hutchings preach the treat was. Without shedding of Blood is no remission. The lord was pleas’d at this time to reveal himself to me: so that it was the sweetest sermon that ever I had heard in my life, for I was able to shed tears of joy & love to my bless’d Savior, who had Suffer’d & dy’d for me so vile a sinner. My Mother being a member of a religious society I went with her to the meetings, & they having a great love for me, did not like me to give heed to any new preaching but wanted me to continue with them, which I cou’d not agree to, thinking one shou’d be at liberty to go where one was most benifited: Mr Grimshaw being minister of that Society. He sent them writings to read together. Which I lik’d very much. & went several times times to converse with him in their company & also partook of the sacrament with them. Which was a great blessing to me, but he always advis’d me. not to fail going to hear the Brn as I had receiv’d such blessing by their Testimony. I spoke with Br Horne. & after some time had the favor to be a member of the Brns society of which I was very glad. for I really beleiv’d them to be the people that I was called to & it was a particular pleasure to me to see any of the Brn & Srs when they came to Hallifax. particularly Br Horn for I lov’d him much tho he dealt very closely with me about selfrightious & unsinnerlike ness of which I was not sensible. I dreamt one night that I was speaking with Mr Grimshaw & all on a sudden. I saw our dear Savior coming in the clouds. & the brightness of his wounds fill’d the whole element. and I ran to fetch my Mother. but awakening out of my sleep. was troubled to find it only a dream. for I thought I cou’d live no longer, but must go to our Savior. Sometime after it pleas’d our Savior to take my dear Mother

6

Mother happily home, which was a great trial to me. for we had liv’d very agreeably together.

I wrote to Sr Clagget desiring to think of me. for tho I had many offers from friends & relations, yet I cou’d not think of settling in the world having no liberty in my heart but wanted to live amongst the Sisters. Soon after I had leave to come & live at Oxhays were where I was tenderly cared for by the Sisters. tho it was somtime before I knew how it wou’d go with me finding it very difficult to leave my relations and the pleasing things of the world as they then appear’d to me; but the Brn & Srs had patience with me, & our Savior who is ever faithful, often made it clear to me that if I did not abide with his people, I shou’d be a miserable creature, this was indeed a school for my heart. for not having learn’d to depend on our savior in all circumstances, I came into many byways, which affected me so that it impair’d my health for some time. I did not tell it my Labouress, fearing lest I shou’d be sent away. & that I cou’d not bear, as I lov’d the Choir House as my life.

In the year 1756 I was seiz’d with a nervous fever & was brought so weak thereby, that I expected & look’d for nothing else but my dissolution. This sickness prov’d the means of our Savior Showing me quite clearly, where I was still wanting. & the emtiness of things, that had hither to been an anoyance to me in my course. & by the close connections I enjoy’d with him at that time. my former heaviness was removed. I saw & understood many things betwixt my Savior and my own heart, in quite a different light.

About this time our late Sister writes in a letter to a friend the following. I can now say with Jacob I am not worthy of the least of thy mercies and As the prodigal. I am not worthy to be called thy son. and as the Publican Lord be merciful to me a sinner. and as Paul, of Sinners I am chief. and now I humbly beg that the Lord will assist me by this spirit; that I may also be able to say It is my meat & my drink

7

drink to do thy will O Lord. I hope my dear friend will excus me writing more largely on the love of our ever blessed Jesus & of the power of his free grace in my poor heart. I cou’d like to say much more on the subject, but am a very poor writer, I bless God I am what I am. & may He gran me ever with Mary to chuse that one thing needful whi will help me to say with St Paul I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.

After 4 months Illness I was so far recoverd as to be able to be again with my room Sisters, tho I was still so weak in Body that for a long time I thought my time in this World wou’d be short & heartily rejoice’d at the thoughts thereoff. After some time seeing my expectation & desire not granted. one Morning feeling myself very weak and impatient for the time to come when I might lay down this tabernacle, I was speaking to our Savior about it, & it was to me as if he stood by me, & ask’d me? Why I was so impatient, direc tly that Verse come into my Mind. which gave me comfort, altho the time seems long to me: Even here I’m in eternity Because I live in jesus: the impression of this I shall ne verforget. I grew more satidfy’d. & only wish’d that whether my time shou’d be long or short that I might daily live in the enjoyment of our Saviors blessings, that thereby I might be enabled to bear evry difficulty I might meet with in my future course. & to conclude I can say this with shame that amidst my many faults & deficiences, our Savior has graciously help’d me thro’ & many times when I have been at a loss which way to turn my heart has been dire cted to Him, where I have always found a sufficiency for all I wanted. Thus for our late Sisters own account,

We can give her the testimony that amidst all

8

faults & defects her walk and conversation amongst us was such as become a child of God. for these many years past she has ardently long’d to depart this life & to be at home with her souls redeemer, which came to pass when sudden & unexpected on Saturday Jany 23rd she remov’d into the sick room and said now I think my dear Savior will soon come & take me home to himself. on the 24th it was very evident that her dissolution was approaching. it was indeed very pleasing to be with her. as the prospect she had in view of soon entering into his presence where there is fulness of joy caused almost evry breath she drew to be an anthem of praise and thanksgiving to her crucified savior. Till her latest breath she repeated these words my dear Savior come soon, come soon. early on Monday the 25th she was bless’d to her departure and soon after fell gently and happily assleep in the Lord in the 84th year of her age