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I was born September 4th 1713 in the City of York and baptized in the Church of England, was also carefully educated by my parents, suitable for a trademan’s child. They were particularly attentive that I should not be seduced by the world. From my youngest years I had a secret desire to please God, and to avoid everything that was bad, this made me very attentive to the course of religious people, but my father’s circumstances being upon the decline, I was (in order to avoid poverty) necessitated to go to service. Thus, I undertook a house-keeper’s place in a reputable family in the country, where my mistress faithfully instructed me in everything she saw me deficient in, and among the rest, endeavoured also to teach me true holiness, but my heart constantly convicted me that I was not right. Being now better qualified for a larger undertaking, I left this place in hopes of bettering my circumstances and resolved for London, where I had two brothers in reputable business. I went thither by sea with some acquaintances, but we had not been out a day before a violent storm arose, so that ’twas expected we should suffer shipwreck, but that we might have our lives, it was resolved to take to the long boat, but I was determined rather to perish with the ship, than venture in the boat, and leave my clothes behind me, and thus suffered myself to be locked down in the cabin, laid myself on a bed, never to behold this world any more, recommending my soul to God, and for some time put my hands over the bedside to feel if the water was approaching, then dropped asleep. The ship weathered the storm, and the captain returned, but how greatly was I surprised when with difficulty I was awoke, and found myself still in the body, and all the vicissitudes of life yet to go through, which I thought would be buried forever when I laid me down.

When I came to London, my brothers took good care of me, but I durst not undertake a housekeeper’s place in this city, till I had first informed myself of what belonged to such an undertaking, therefore took a housemaid’s place in an eminent physician’s family. But this proved too hard for me and in about a month’s time, was unable to stand on my legs. The doctor hearing of this ordered me into his room, and on examining into my constitution, came upon to speak about my family and education, and on my telling him who I was, my good mistress answered him in French, that my mother was her near relation, I was immediately ordered into better care and an easier situation, which together with some medicines soon restored me to the use of my limbs. I then undertook the housekeeper’s place in the same family, but could not continue long therein, the other servants plaguing me incessantly because I could not join in their extravagant schemes and unfaithfulness to the prejudice of my good master and mistress, therefore without any explanation desired to be set at liberty; this was a real disappointment to them, for they thought they had a faithful person in their family who also took care of their children. A pious lady who lived there, and had renounced the errors of the Church of Rome, wished me to remain in the single state and to live to the Lord Jesus, and would have conditioned with me on any terms I pleased, if I would remain with her or this family, but nothing could prevail upon me to live among such a set of servants as was there. I soon entered into a large grand magnificent family in Bloomsbury Square. Here I only stayed 11 months, I then got a housekeeper’s place in a worthy family in Berkshire; in about 3 years the lady of the family died, and the whole care fell upon me, to the great oppression of my mind, for the continual want of the knowledge

of my God embittered everything to me, and tho’ we had family devotion morning and evening by the chaplain, all was nothing to me, because the practice answered not to the precepts, and I became very miserable; on asking advice of the chaplain, he told me to read Dean Swift, and such like lively authors, and visit more in the country, but I resolved for London to get better advice, left my good place to the great distress of my worthy master.

In London I took to the Methodists, contrary to the advice of my friends, who said I should lose my character thereby, and as they were nothing but a loose rabble. I learned several branches of business, in order to go no more to service, but to maintain myself in a single state, but this was of no long duration, being much importuned to go to my late place in Berkshire, I ventured there again, and continued several years, and met with a company of single gentlewomen at Windsor, who like me, were seeking after the Kingdom of God, but could meet with no other consolation than the practice of good morals, and leaving ourselves to the mercy of God. In the year 1750 my mother was taken very sick, and desired much to see me before her departure, I got leave of my master to make this visit to York, promising that I would return again, but in 10 days after my arrival there, my dear mother departed this life, and my younger brother being in good business, would not let me leave York any more, but tried to settle me in the confectioners business, and procured me an original shop of this kind, which through his interest proved amazingly successful. Yet on every relaxation from business, I was oppressed with an uneasy mind about being saved and attaining to the kingdom of that God whom I thought I loved. I resolved to go to the Methodists meetings, especially in the evenings, when nobody that knew me could see me, but was soon discovered by a lady, who

had visited much in the family I lived with in Berkshire she made herself known to me, and never let me rest unless I went continually to the means of grace, as she called the meeting. But I could not bear their manner of singing and praying so openly, and she liked, I also thought they would ruin my outward circumstances, as my house was never free from Methodists, and yet I found no rest for my soul, but felt an enmity to God for calling me to an account for my sinful nature, which I neither made, nor wanted to live unto. Soon after this, 2 persons came into my shop. My servant whispered in my ear that they were Moravians, Mr. and Mrs. Brook by name. I soon found freedom with Mrs. Brook to tell her my situation of heart. She desired me to be comforted, for the Lord Jesus would never have convinced me of my sinfulness, but He would also convince me where a true righteousness abounded. He had paid the ransom for all my sins through his death and sufferings, and would forgive me all, if I could but believe He suffered for my sake, and He would make me happy through his merits without any works of mine, or anything that any creature could help me to. Those were such words as I never heard before, that all my happiness consisted in believing in the Lord Jesus. All was to me as if an angel from heaven had been conversing with me. I never know before that my Redeemer was the Lord Jesus Christ. She moreover told me that his grace would regenerate my sinful nature, both soul and body. From this time I got other ideas of my salvation than I ever had before and no more thought of being saved by my good deeds. Yet great distress followed me daily. I went one afternoon to Mrs. Brook, who desired me to stay for tea, other company also came in, and among the rest a Brother from

Pudsey, whom I knew nothing of. Mrs. Brook and the said Brother began such spiritual conversation as I never heard in all my life, and thought I had neither part nor let in such happiness as was to be enjoyed by believing in the Lord Jesus, and I knew not where to hide my face for shame and perplexity, when the Brother spoke of our Saviour forgiving him his sins when the most wretched of men, I burst out with involuntary cries for the same Saviour to bless me, and in a moment, I was (as it were) separated from all bodily sight of the company, and saw nothing but my dear Saviour who stood ready to forgive me all my sins, shame and abasement seized me so that I knew nothing what I said or did, my former unbelief and denial of all possibility of having my sins forgiven while in this life brought me down into the dust, and I was inconsolable, and knew not how to accept such great grace. After such bold assertions of unbelief as I had made, my senses became more and more opened to the great blessing our dear Saviour had bestowed upon me, but my friends durst not leave me above till I came more to myself, and I was so enfeebled through in body and mind, that for some time I could hardly stand upon my Legs, and when I was conducted home, some friends met me there, who, seeing my tears, and hearing my spiritual conversation, thought the Lord had appeared to me as He did to Paul and told me that I was now a right Paulist, but my brother comprehended it as what our Saviour said to Nicodemus that to be truly born again was a baptism of the Spirit. I told them, I could say with Job, I have heard of Him, but now my eyes have seen Him, the spirit of prayer was also powerfully with me. I fell on my knees, and all the company with me, but what I said I do not remember, but was full of astonishment at the great change I had

met with, and shed many tears on account of my former unbelief. This impression abode with me more than a week, which I spent in wonder at having such a great grace bestowed on me, through the merits of our Saviour’s shedding his blood for the poor human sinful race of men, and I [was] assuredly restored to the fellowship of my God, to whom I had eternally belonged, yea, for several weeks if a child had but named the name of Jesus, my heart would cry mine, mine forever, and I was rendered incapable of any other conversation, than about his infinite love to poor sinners. I begged everyone who wanted to see me, that they would but love the Lord Jesus, then all their sins would be forgiven, and the very hankering to sin would through that love be mortified, and its power to distress me be taken away, and they would be enabled to do the works of righteousness, and not before. This was a great offence to the Methodists and many whose heart this suited went no more amongst them, but frequented Mr. Ingham’s meetings, being now assured in my heart that the Lord Jesus had revealed himself through his Holy Spirit within me, and as the Holy Sacrament was to be the following Sunday at my parish church, I consulted with my good friend Mrs. Galantine, if I should now go to the Holy Communion, which she had no objection to, as I could now make a true and sinnerlike confession before the Lord. But when I came to the altar, the awefulness of the transaction, to think that the body and blood of God my Saviour would now mix with a poor sinful human creature so abased me, that I shed numberless tears. I was moreover seized with such a trembling that I had to support myself by the altar

rails, and thought no other but the person who stood next me and hear the rattling of my bones. During the minister’s prayer I recovered, and crept softly to my pew, but could not hide how much I was affected. On coming home, my brother who lived near the Church, pressed me to go to his house, which I had no mind for, but to avoid contention in the street I went with him, but when he insisted on my staying dinner, such words past betwixt us as distressed me very much, but my remonstrances availed nothing; when dinner was over, I returned to my own house, shut myself up, and fell into such distress of mind, as I had never felt in all my life. I felt as tho’ that good spirit the Holy Ghost had now departed from me, after so many days’ enjoyment, I look on my whole salvation as irrecoverable, and that my sins and transgressions were of a more condemning kind than ever before. As I had been in such a spirit at my brother’s house, just when I had been at the Holy Communion, I wrestled and prayed till I was quite spent, would have given the whole world for one good thought, that would have pleased God to have restored that good spirit again into my heart, for I now felt like one stripped of all hope. I neither heard nor saw any creature, and resolved to abide till Death without conversing with anyone. Wearied and fatigued with a distracted mind, I went to bed, earnestly praying God once more to have mercy upon me, and I would be more mindfully how I grieved his spirit for the future. I slept well, and waked in the morning as happy and composed as ever. Ah! my soul how timorous weren’t thou then, then thou wast afraid of

disturbing thy beloved, thy feet, thy hands, thy ears, thy eyes, were all attention how thou coud’st be soft and humble to thy spouse, but now alas, what can’st thou say at this time thou’st writing this, ah! shame and reproach does now convict thee, how much inattention has been paid to that heavenly preceptor Teacher, but my God, my hearts best object thou hast never since forsook me, no, thy poor sinneress has unworthily found favour to clasp with eagerness thy through pierced feet and will eternally cleave to those wounds so precious, that have been my sheltering place while here, my vast depravity had not hindered thee from looking upon me in love and mercy but to return;

Here I was desired to speak in a class what the Lord had done for my soul, but I felt great timorousness, lest in speaking much about it, the Lord would take it from me again, but I suffered myself to be prevailed upon. The company was Mrs. Galantine and her acquaintance, to whom I declared that being a miserable wretched sinner would necessitate them to seek acceptance with the Lord Jesus and whoever could believe that the Lamb of God was crucified for their sins, would be forgiven and have everlasting life, and the Holy Spirit would convince them of a righteousness much better than all they could attain to by their legal prayers and striving for perfection. This report gave great offence, and many said I was a right Moravian, thus I with many others left the Methodists, and took to Mr. Ingham, who was a faithful father to all sincere followers of the Lord Jesus, thus I went on for some time adoring my crucified Saviour, and the wonderful works of his redemption, nothing but the grace of God now weighty to me, and when I for the first time

heard of the Congregation of Brethren it seemed to me so divine, as if it could only he understood by those who had been longer in the school of the Holy Ghost than I had been. Yet my heart hankered to be in closer union with them; but not knowing that there were also Sisters in the same connection I thought it impractical for me to come any nearer. But one day very accidentally I heard of Sisters. My heart from that moment resolved to see them, let the consequences be what it would; this resolution stirred up many of my friends to the prejudice of the Brethren, but all was nothing to me, whether they were good or bad I could neither prove nor contradict, but something had struck into my heart that I could tell to nobody, only that the God whom they worshipped was the God of my salvation. With this persuasion I set out, accompanied by Mr. Bealby, and we just arrived at Fulneck as Brother Horn was reading the text concerning the Prodigal Son. All I heard and saw much affected me. The next morning before I awoke several had been to inquire for me, especially Brother Planta, to whose house I was invited to breakfast, He also got permission to conduct me to the Choir House of the Single Sisters, where I was heartily received by Sisters Mary Vogelsang and Ann Birkley, who conducted me through the house which I perceived was to the Sisters as the King’s Chamber, but to me it seemed quite otherwise, for there was nothing but spinning and poverty to be seen, and I could not help pitying them who had so laboriously to earn their own bread, but was insensible of the blessings they enjoyed in living thus devotedly for their soul’s Bridegroom. I had some heart’s conversation with Sister Mary, but knew little of myself. Arrived at home late at night, thankful in my heart that I

had such a habitation to retire to. But presently it began to work in me, reflecting on the emptiness of what I here enjoyed at home to what I might enjoy was I but once again at Fulneck. The varieties there had so engaged my mind that I knew not what I had enjoyed, but now the heavenly sensations I had imperceptibly tasted of began to operate. Yea, it became of great weight to me, so that I had no peace nor rest, no other meeting or book but theirs could I relish, and their circumstances became so much my own, that I confessed once [and] for all, nothing should ever part me from that people. This caused many disagreeable controversies, till I was obliged to separate myself from all religious people, and the Brethren and Sisters corresponded with me to my great joy and edification. I also made several other visits to Fulneck to the great blessing of my heart, tho’ I could not express myself in their way, which gave me some uneasiness. My heart was now hankering more and more to be with the Congregation; tho’ the Choir House did not at all suit me, and it cost me many tears, that my Saviour would not excuse me that situation, as I thought I wanted nothing but Him, I wished to enjoy him in my own dear house at York, but the doctrine of the blessed atonement was so acceptable to my heart, that I was fully convinced it was nowhere so genuine as amongst the Brethren. But I came into a fearfulness, less I should drop again into my former darkness, therefore was distressed for an assurance from my Saviour that he would ever keep me in his hands, and that by no means I might ever forfeit my salvation, in his precious blood. This earnest desire increased daily, till it pleased my gracious Lord to vouchsafe to give me the following assurance. Being awakened suddenly, as tho’ a voice had called: bone of my bone

and flesh of my flesh, with such a feeling of love to my Saviour that I was quite melted, and all other things became as nothing, my brother, and all my outward circumstances, I could leave if required. Surprise and adoration seized me, and I was fully assured of my election of grace, which in all vicissitudes since has not been shaken, tho’ many dark and perplexing moments have come over me. It has always ended in a humble shame to my abasement and humiliation, I was always to be the humble sinner, that has been my most happy place, and has hitherto broke my stubborn heart; His grace alone has done it, and I remain yet his needy one. I communicated this to my intimate friend Mrs. Brook with a thousand tears and could say nothing but, Lord have mercy upon me, that such unbounded grace should be laid often to such a worthless creature. All my anxiety and fear of being separated from my soul’s lover was gone. Mr. Brook and Mr. Ingham advised me not to speak much of it to other people, as many who had not the same experience would perhaps doubt of their salvation; from this time I became more settled in my determination to live to the Lord Jesus and towards the close of the year 1755 I had a clear conviction of my call to the Congregation, and could plainly perceive that both I, and all I had, belonged to our Saviour and his people, so that I did not choose any longer to act in my business without their approbation, and was to conscientiously bound to this that I communicated my affairs to Sister Mary in the simplest manner I was able, but by her answers, I found

that she and the brethren were afraid of my doing what I should afterwards repent of, and therefore wanted to satisfy me about staying where I was, this stumbled me, as I believed it to be a work of God, but I crept to my dear Saviour for his guidance and protection, and in my heart remained one with the Brethren and their matters, tho’ I was often repulsed, yet my dear Saviour has sufficiently let me see, what kind intentions he had towards me in bringing in to Fulneck, tho’ I have often been unthankful and wound gladly have been by myself again set at liberty, could I have enjoyed his countenance, which I could not subsist without.

But to return, I received a most cordial letter from Brother Charlesworth. This encouraged me to ask for reception into the Congregation but was told it would avail me nothing at such a distance. After another visit to Fulneck I was better satisfied, was also refreshed with Congregation accounts being sent me, and always felt well when there was nothing between the Congregation and me, so that I found our Saviour and his people were inseparable, which I often wondered at, for I was His, but should have been glad to have been excused changing my situation. At last, my brother resolved to marry, if I would not live with him, which I positively refused, being constantly convinced that I was no more my own, and amidst all conflicts I felt that I was bound to give myself up to the Holy Spirit’s leading, and in a few days my brother died, at which time he was disposed to leave me all he had. Now many of my so-called friends would gladly have prevailed upon me to renounce my call to the Brethren, but after much striving I covenanted with our Saviour to sell all and come to

the Congregation and accordingly soon settled my affairs. May 10th, 1756 I left York with my dear father, and arrived at Pudsey late in the evening with a heavy and perplexed heart, having given up what I knew, for what I knew not, and I was also frightened lest my Father would not settle with me, which, if he did it, would excuse me from moving into the Choir House, for which I had no desire in any wise. But he, having a mind to stay, we settled at Lane End, where I had many trials, and found I still had not attained to what my Saviour had called me, which was the Choir House. I, my Saviour, his salvation, Choir House and Congregation seemed essentially inseparable to me, the foundation of which seemed to be wrote in my heart with an eternal pen; for, surely, such realities are nowhere to be found but in the heart of Jesus. I had however much to learn, and for want of knowing myself rightly, saw many faults in others. And together with my situation, and everything about me, my father also lay heavy on me, as he was the visible means of keeping me out of the Choir House. But in time he was disposed to be boarded at Richard Mortimer’s that I might be at Liberty, and I accommodated him there to his satisfaction. November 13th, 1756 I was received into the congregation. Ah! This was an inexpressible grace, this was the greatest solemnity I ever enjoyed in all my life. September 7th, 1757, I removed into the Choir House. This was a new school to me, as I met with many things contrary to my way of thinking, which went so far that I wished to go away again, but I afterwards found that it all worked for my good, and that I did not know myself sufficiently. March 25th, 1758 I had the grace

be a participant of my dear Lord’s body and blood in the holy sacrament with the Congregation, but was much perplexed by depending so much on my own feelings, not knowing truly that the feeling void of good was well for me. But on speaking with my Labouress, she directed me to our Saviour as a sinner, not as a holy person. Hereupon my depravity was so opened to me, that I despaired of ever being otherwise than a miserable creature, but when I could fall as a sinner at the feet of our Saviour, his gracious absolution melted me, and enabled me to bear the reproach for my humiliation, and no more for my condemnation, this great change was much more blessed to me than the first forgiveness of my sins. The grace and blessing of a virgin of Jesus, I now could claim, and my blushing at the feeling of my sinfulness was not trouble to me, and best and worse I could turn to my beloved; and yet amidst all these great privileges, I was always falling short and had daily something new to experience, outwardly I had also many trials from not having been used to such accommodations as I met with here, but nothing brought me to the real sinner point before my Saviour, till all other means of friendship failed; thus I had for almost 7 years a continual course of trials, till once for all He became the sole object of my heart, and I as nothing but a worm before him, then, and then only my course became truly and solidly a heaven upon earth, my Saviour was at my right hand and at my left but lowliness and sinnerlikeness I was still short of, in which I believe I shall remain defective, as long as my dear Saviour continues me in this mortal frame. So far her own account.

It is evident that our late Sister had a particular call to the Congregation which together with what her heart enjoyed from our Saviour she knew how to value above everything in this world, oftentimes declaring, and that with a heart deeply affected, what great things he had done for her, and how, even the trials she had met with had worked together for her real good. She was a person truly devoted to Him, and thought it not too much to spend her time and little substance in his cause, to the great relief of many of the inhabitants of the Choir House, who in the first years of its existence felt many straits, having also a warm heart for our Saviour being self endowed with many extraordinary gifts. She knew how to give good advice in most circumstances, and in this respect gained much love and confidence from the Sisters. In short, we could say much of her faithful service in our House and Choir ever since the year 1757, but as she frequently declared that neither her coming to the Congregation, nor her staying therein, was her own doings, but our Saviour’s own free electing grace, and that she could not possibly be happy in any other situation, so she likewise entreated that nothing she had done might in the least be attributed to herself, but solely and alone to His praise, who in his infinite mercy had brought her to such a blessed school for her own heart, and therefore it was her highest pleasure, could she any way be serviceable to her Choir or the Congregation. For several years last past her strength declined very much fast, so that she could but seldom attend the meetings, but she took great delight in reading the lives of departed Brethren

and Sisters, and of the work of God in many parts of the world. She also prized the visits of her Sisters, encouraging everyone to faithfulness in their respective calling, and was particularly refreshed when she entered into a hearty band conversation with any of them which was generally accompanied with floods of tears, on account of all the mercy which our Saviour had shown unto her, which now she beheld clearer than ever, the effect of which was, her heart became more and more sinnerlike, of which the following lines which were found among her papers are a short specimen.

1 now my years on Earths declining/ proofs of grace in truth defining/ at my Saviour’s feet I prostrate/ and never his death and torment.
2 For th’ abundance of his graces/ since called to his blessed embraces/ ne’er can worthily express it/ What his love on me effected.
3 For his grace, care, and nutrition/ how exceeded my petition/ In his school I how been learning/ wholesome lessons, truth discerning.
4 Those art worthy to be loved/ who thyself hast thus approved / Thou art worthy of all praises/ who thy work to highly raises.
5 praised be without cessation/ above all in the creation/ for thy pardoning grace and merit/ which I freely do inherit.
6 None can give me consolation/ but thou, who art my salvation/ who hast me as thine elected/ and to this day hast protected.
7 Let my spirit soul and body/ Thine remain with love most steady/ till I have the grace and favour/1` to behold thee, God my Saviour.

Being of a very active turn of mind, she continued attentive to every circumstance in the House till near her departure, as also to the poor Sisters who were always special objects of her concern, she gave proofs of her motherly concern, as long as she was able. But her chief and most ardent desire for several years was to be at rest with her soul’s lover, tho’ she would sometimes say, she could not form any right Idea of that blessed time, yet she knew for certain, that she should enjoy great felicity, such as, eye had not seen, ear ever heard, neither had it entered into the heart of man, the things which God had prepared for those that love him. In this persuasion, she met her dissolution with joy. Her long and great weakness at last terminated in an internal inflammation, which in a few days proved the accomplishment of all her wishes, and she as a reconciled sinner fell happily asleep in the Lord with the blessing of her Choir and the Congregation in the 75th year of her age.