An Account
of the Life of
Judith Brasher
This is a short Account of the Forbearance of God to-
-wards Me poor Sinner, born April 9th. May 8th 1700. and baptiz’d 1729
in the Reformd Church by the Name of Judith. My
Father was Stephen Gashery of Kingston in Esopus.
The Lord took my Mother from Me, when I was a Child
of 2 Years and 9 Months, and a little Brother of 9
Months old: and so by the Providence of God, We two
Orphan Children fell under the Tuition of my very dear
and kind Grandmother Judith Gashery; She had a
tender Concern for Me, and oftentimes reminded Me
that I was baptized into Jesus Christ, into his Death;
and that He was the Propitiation for our Sins, and for
the Sins of the whole World; and that all who believe
in Him, and are baptized, shall be saved; and all such
as turn with their Heart unto the Lord: telling Me also
how much our dear Lord Jesus Christ had sufferd for Us;
from his Birth to his bitter Death: Thus the Gospel
was preachd unto Me from my Infancy, by my Grandmo-
-ther; She had a tender Care over Me; and my Father left
me entirely to the Direction of my Grandmother, who was
a Widow of more than 70 Years of Age; She had left her Country
and Substance Friends in the Time of the great Persecution,
in France, under Lewis the 14th. for the Sake of the Lord
Jesus; So She and several Others, having left their own
Country, and travelld traveld from one Kingdom to another, at
last came into this Part of the World, where my Grand-
-mother and another [illegible] Family of Jesus took up their abode; and
these Two were alone [illegible] and could converse with no
Body, for the People of the Place spoke Dutch, where my
Father learnt the Dutch Language and was afterwards
Lecturer, Cantor and Schoolmaster to the Reformd Con-
-gregation there, and the formentiond Person with his Family Man
Wife and Children with my Grandmother had their
Meetings, where they read prayd and sung in the French
Language in my Fathers House.
In the Year 1707, my Father married a second
Wife, which was a great Grief to my dear Grandmother,
who returnd me back to my Father, and after She had
given me her Blessing, and with many Tears re-
-commended me to God, She removed to New York,
to live with her Niece, which She brought from France
along with Her. O how very miserable were now my
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Days. what my Grandmother used to tell me of was
now no more mentiond: But the Lord gave me many
a Scripture Word out of the Bible, which I could not re-
-ceive, yet I found that I was admonishd by them to put
my Hope in God, which was an Easement to my Heart.
In all my Distress, I could not tell my Trouble and Grief
to my Father. He did not see much of it, for he had a great
School and a very bad Wife, who gave him all Manner
of Uneasiness. My Father brought Himself and his Chil
-dren into Misery, and none but the Lord could help us out
of it.
The Time I was under my very hard Stepmother was
10 Years; in this Time of my Affliction, the Lord gave me
in my Heart a sure Confidence, that in due Season He
would help Me. In the Year 1717. I took Leave of my Fa-
-ther, and He gave Me his Blessing, I set off on my Journey
to New York. I set off with the Captain and his Negro, and
no Woman with Us; the Pressure of my Heart was great, then
I cried to the Lord, and I thot. on Jacobs fleeing from his Bro
-ther Esau, and how God blest Him: And I thot. if the Lord
would keep Me and be a Father to Me, then would I love him
and fear him all my Life long: And I made a Covenant
with God: I can say that the Lord did so unto Me, and He
by his Grace let me see the universal Corruption of Youth,
and how much I stood in Need of his Grace and of his
fatherly Protection; and the Lord also shewd Me, that He
as my God did watch over me with paternal Care.
In the Year 1723. after I had lived in New York
6 Years, the Lord led me to the married State with my
Husband Luke Brasher; I believed it to be the Lord’s
Will, an fully; and his Grace inclined me to be obedient,
and thro’ his Guidance We Two became One. My Husband
brought me into his Mother’s House, who received Me
as her Child, and She was also the Cause of my Husband
first taking a Liking unto Me. I had more Inclination
to continue in a single State, than to enter into the Mar-
-ried I prayd unto the Father of all Grace, that He would
guide, lead and counsel Me, how to behave my Self in
this very weighty Affair Action; and the Lord heard Me in this,
and thro’ his Grace drawd My Heart unto Himself, so
that I many Times said, What shall I repay the Lord
for all his Mercies and fatherly Kindness to Me poor
Sinner? Then I heard as if spoken unto my Heart
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Give Me your Heart. And I said, O Lord! I am a
great Sinner, how shall I give You my Heart? Then
the Lord shewd Me that there is a spiritual Marriage,
and that the Lord Jesus is the true Bridegroom of the Soul.
At this Time I had more Confidence to the Father
than to the Son, tho’ the Lord drawd me with his Grace
and Love, powerfully, Night and Day unto his Son,
teaching and instructing Me as a Father does his Child.
I felt a Desire in my Heart to give my Self over to our
Saviour. I was at this Time much oppressd with my
Misery and condemnd Condition, I thot. on the prodigal
Son, and how friendly his Father embraced him, and kipd
him and rejoyced rejoiced over him; this gave me Hopes of Mer-
-cy, I prayd for the Forgiveness of all my Sins & Misdeeds
for Jesus’s Sake, and the Lord Jesus forgave my Sins,
Saying, Daughter, Your Sins are forgiven unto You.
And I believed the Word of the Lord. In these Beginning
of Grace, I found my Heart so thankful and rejoiced, to
-wards the Lord Jesus, and desirous to abide in his Love,
that I thot. now will I die unto Sin, and henceforth
walk in Newness of Life. I desired to be a Commu-
-nicant in the Church of Christ, and I searchd my Heart
what it was that moved Me to it, and it was the Words
of Christ, John 6.053, Where He says, Verily, verily, I
say unto You, if he eat not the Flesh of the Son of Man,
and drink his Blood, ye have no Life in You.
In the Year 1724 when I began with the Custom
of catechizing and answering with Scripture Texts, as
is usual in the reformd Church; I could give no Answer,
my Heart was shut up, oppressd and dejected, especially,
when the Point of God’s Election was healed of, as it
is written, Jacob have I loved, and Esau have I hated.
O how distressd was my Soul! I had hard Thoughts of
God, and would flee from Him: I thot. it is possible
that the Lord hates Me too, because I am a Sinner.
Another Time I had a great Strife within my Self,
I thot. if Christ died only for Believers, how do I know
that I am a Believer; then came to my Mind, what
my Grandmother used to say unto me of Free Grace and
that when We were without Strength, Christ died for
the Ungodly, and that Jesus atoned for the Sins of
the whole World by his Death on the Cross. O thought
I, if I had seen Jesus in the Cross Flesh, I would have washd his
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O Jesu! hadst Thou not sought for Me, and followd ever,
I had not sought for Thee, nor found Thee, never.
In the 36th. Year of my Age, I had yet a darkend Under-
-standing, thro’ the Ignorance and Blindness of my Heart.
In this Year, the Lord took my Husband, my best Friend
from Me, and I believe that He is happily gone into
Rest, after a consumptive Illness of 5 Years and a Half;
and much Suffering both of Soul and Body; 14 Days be-
-fore his Departure, He said to Me, that his Time was
short, and desired to make his Peace with the Lord, who
graciously gave him to feel his undone Condition, He
prayd heartily for Grace, and the Forgiveness of his Sins,
and the Lord heard Him and gave him a thirsting Desire
that He said, O how I thirst for Redemption. The 25
of April, He fell on Sleep in the 39th. Year of his Age
after We had been married together 13 Years and a Half, &
having made Provision for his Family, Me and my two
Children, and recommended Us to the Grace of God, in
a hearty Confidence of Gods Mercy towards Us. He
said to Me, God will bless you and your Children. he
gave me his Advice how I should act in Case the Children
who were yet very young, should prove Undutiful,
my oldest was a Daughter of 7 Years old, and the young-
-est a Son of 16 Months, who lay very near my Heart.
Now I was brought into a new School, how very
hard was my Heart, I could not acquiesce in the Will
of God. O how painful and heavy it was unto Me; my Soul
cleaved too much to outward Things, and I had no Power
to humble my Self under the Hand of God: Under these
Trials, the Lord gave Me to hope in his Grace: Saying
my Strength is made perfect in Weakness. And this Pro-
-mise was truly fulfilled to my Heart, yet my Fear was very
Great; I saw that I now lay open to all the Temptations of
the Enemy, the World and my own Corruption, I felt in my
Self, that I had no Power against these Things, and This
made Me to seek, cry and pray unto the Lord, and He also
heard my Prayers.
After I had been 2 or 3 Months in a State of
Widowhood, I dreamt that I stood on a Shore which I must
pass over; I could see no Land before Me, but all lookd
like a drowned World, overstreamd with a great and muddy
Deluge; I saw a Bridge which was very narrow, over which
I was obliged to go, and to carry with me a great Burden
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which was heavier than my Body, this I carried in a
Bucket in my Left Hand; I enterd very patiently and willing
on this narrow Way, I could not walk, but was forced to
creep like a Worm over it, for to walk was impossible for
me, and the Light was dim, like the first Rays of Day
Break, I was obliged to hold fast with my Right Hand
by the Edge of the narrow Bridge, for fear of falling into the
dreadful Stream; at last I saw before Me a sandy Land
which the Water had left; then I thankd the Lord my God
for my Deliverance; I was also freed from carrying the
Burden any more; I stood on my Feet, and would go on-
-ward, but could not, for the Earth was like a Sea of Sand,
and I sunk in it, then I was in my Soul sore afraid, and
I said unto God, with a very heavy Heart, I have been
helpd over the narrow Way, and shall I sink in This, and
perish. In this Distress God came to my Relief by a Hand
like unto a Mans Hand, which took Me by the Hand and led Me
unto firm and solid Ground; and I thankd the Lord who sent
me this Deliverance also: I then walkd to the House of my
Mother’s Brother, which stood upon a Hill; after a little
while I went to see the very pleasant Country around Me,
and I looking toward the East, saw the Sun in his full
Brightness, and another Sun shone out of the First,
and returnd again into the first Sun. And so there went
out 11 or 12 Suns, and appeard in the Heavens in a most
glorious Circle; and the Lustre of the glorious Sun did
not dazzle my Eyes, but I could look on it, as if it had
been the Moon; I was greatly rejoiced in my Heart, and
felt such a sweet Consolation, Bowedness and Love to
the Sun of Righteousness, that I said to One who was
with Me, See what a glorious Sight there is in the East.
upon which He answerd Me, Look toward the West. And I
turnd about and lookd toward the West toward Heaven,
and saw two Pictures of the same Bigness, the One was
a Portrait of the Father, and the Other of the Son. This
Sight filld Me with Fear and Trembling for the infinite
Majesty of God, and I prayd for Grace of the Father, who
lookd upon Me with Anger, and bowd my Heart unto the
Son who was on his Right Hand, before whom I kneeld with
Trembling, and implored Grace for the Sake of Jesus his be-
-loved Son, who let his friendly and merciful Countenance
shine upon Me, and my Fear was taken away from Me.
Here I awaked from my Dream and the Sleep of Sin,
and I saw and believed, that the Father had manifested
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his Son unto Me, as the Mediator between God and Me,
and that I could obtain no Grace of God, but only through
Jesus, who is the Mediator, and Advocate with the Father.
I saw that all my Reformation can not help Me, and
that I must go unto the Lord Jesus, who only can help
Me in his good Time. O how dark was my Heart [illegible]
[illegible] yet after This, I saw the Darkness Blindness of my Heart, and
that I had as yet only the Beginnings of Grace, and that
I did not possess saving Grace.
If any One should ask: What Advantage had I from
this divine Manifestation? It was unto Me a Power
of God unto a living Hope of my Redemption, thro’ Jesus
Christ, it strengthend my Faith and Confidence to the Lord
Jesus; I felt in my Heart that I was under the Power of
Sin and Death, and that the Law of the Spirit of Life in
Christ Jesus, had not yet made me free from the Law of
Sin and Death. Rom.6.2. many Times in this misera-
-ble Situation of Heart, I cried, O wretched Creature, that
I am, who shall deliver Me from the Body of this Death?
At such Times I have believed, and thankd God thro’ Jesus
Christ, who causeth me to hope thro’ the Grace which he
has already given Me, that he will help Me further, and
lead and direct Me, and keep his Eye open upon Me.
and I am assured in my Heart that this was the true Grace
of God, which led Me to the Light of his Holy Gospel.
In the Year 1741. Mr. Whitfield came into this City,
as a faithful Witness of the glad Tidings of Free Grace, thro’
our Lord Jesus Christ, and declared unto Us what He had
received. He had many Hearers, and many were awa-
-kend by his Testimony of Universal Redemption, and
the great Necessity of the New Birth, and of receiving the Gift
of the Holy Ghost; I heard at that Time more than I possest;
The Lord blessd what he spoke, and the Word had a divine
Power on the Souls of many that heard it. Many said,
He is surely a Child of God, Others said, He is a Deceiver
and spoke much Evil of Him. After some Time, he took
Leave of Us for a Season, and it was a Blessing to Me
and my two Children, that the Lord had brought Him here.
After som some Time I became acquainted with the United
Brethren, and was convinced in my Heart that they propaga
-ted the same Doctrine of Free Grace: Afterwards by the great
Opposition with which the Brethren were treated, my Heart
was brought into a great Straight, and I could expect
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Nothing else, but to suffer along with Them, if I received
Them either into my Heart or House; I had too great Fear
for the Disturbance which began to be raised at that Time
against the Brethren, here in New York; when our dear
Bror. Boehler was commanded by the Magistrates to de
-part the City, I was greatly surprized surprised at his being so used.
3 or 4 Days after this came the Deacon of the Church to
receive the quarterly Collection which I was to pay, as all
the Communicants are used to do. I desired of Him that
my Name might be put out of their Church Book; the
good Man did not say one Word; I felt Compassion towards
him, and gave him the Reason why I did leave their Church,
namely This, that such Christians, who persecute the Christian,
can be no Blessing to Me; the good Man did not answer a
Word, but took friendly Leave of Me and went his Way.
Some Time after, here in York an Act was passd, that no
Brother, for the Space of a Year, should preach here, under
a great Penalty and 6 Months Imprisonment. Under
this Perplexity of Heart, the Lord gave me Grace, and the Word
of God the Holy Bible instructed and taught Me; as He said
Himself unto his Disciples: Ye shall be hated of all Men-
for my Name’s Sake. And the Acts of the Apostles prove
that his Apostles and Followers were thus treated.
By Mr. Whitfields Preaching I was convinced of the
Righteousness of our Lord Jesus Christ, and of the great Sin
of Self Righteousness. The Words of his Text was Jer 2306.
The Lord our Righteousness, these blessed Words
were a Power of God unto my Heart, and our Saviour assur’d
Me thro’ the Grace of the Comforter, that it was a Testimony
of Truth according to his Word John 1608. When He comes,
He shall reprove the World of SIn, of Righteousness, and of
Judgment. I was convinced that this was the only Thing
necessary to my Salvation, and I felt how much my
Sins and Misery made Me to fear, that the Lord Jesus by his Grace
would not set me free from the Condemnation of Sin. I found
that I was brought out of Darkness into Light, but I did not
yet possess the full Assurance which my Heart longd after.
Beforetime I hoped in the Promise that He would be my Jesus
and Saviour, now I could find no Peace or Rest in my Heart,
without the Feeling and Assurance that the Lord Jesus was
mine with all his Merits, and that I am His. The Which
the Lord in his good Time has manifested to Me and assur’d
my Heart, that He bore in his own Body on the Cross, the Curse
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of the Law and the Wrath of God, in my Stead; and of free Grace
sufferd Death for Me and the whole World, and with his dying
Lips, pronounced, It is finished.
O precious Gift, O Jesus my Redeemer!
My Safeguard from Sin, who paid the Law’s Demand
My Hope in Time, my joyful Rest for ever,
Set Me my Shepherd, a Signet on thy Hand!
I now came under the Tuition of the great Shepherd, the
great Teacher of Righteousness, who by his Offering on the Cross,
offerd himself up unto God, a Ransom for our Sins; This saving
Grace and Truth had such a powerful Operation, that I could say
with Job, I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the Ear, but now
mine Eye seeth Thee. So have I been in my first Progress in
Grace, taught and guided, comforted and strengthned thro’ his
Goodness. and now I felt the Conflict of our Saviours bitter
Death of the Cross, and his Anguish of Soul, in my Heart.
In the Year 1741. I came among the United Brethren,
whom I love for the Work of the Lord, which They are engaged
in. They testified of our Saviours Grace with great Power; They
were to me as the Salt of the Earth, and as the Dew of Heaven, they
declared to Us the everlasting Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ; and
his Love to Us poor Sinners; I sencibly sensibly felt my Deficiency, my
Nakedness and Weakness, and how little I lov’d our Saviour. I
was a poor Child, and had much Strife between Flesh and Spirit.
and corrupt Nature made great Opposition; first because
I had been a Communicant in the Reform’d Church 16 Years,
and in all That Time had not attaind to a settled Peace; This
made Me wavering in my Soul; and secondly I was hard of
Hearing, which inclined Me to separate my Self from all Fel-
-lowship and Society; This was to my Corrupt Nature, a Thorn
in the Flesh, to be in Company, and yet to understand Nothing.
O how much Pain did I bring upon my Heart by my Ignorance
and Unbelief; but when I as such a poor Sinner, complaind the
State of my Heart to my Saviour, then He again forgave me
all my Transgressions.
In the Year 1750. I was received into the Congregation
of the United Brethren, and our Saviour granted me the Favour
to be admitted the same Year to the Sacrament among Them.
by the Will of God and thro’ the Ministry of Br. Rice, In the
Afternoon of the Same Day on which the Sacrament of our Lord
was administerd, He preachd on 1Timy.3.016. Without Controversy,
great is the Mystery of Godliness; God was manifest in the Flesh;
justified in the Spirit; seen of Angels; preachd unto the Gentiles;
believed on in the World; received up into Glory: The Grace which
our dear Saviour let me feel at the first Participation in my Heart,
was in Truth, the Power of the aboverelated Words, Without Con-
-troversy, great is the Mystery of Godliness, God was manifest
in the Flesh. These and all the other Words of the Text, were so
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powerful, and lively and so beyond Contradiction; that the Flesh
and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ is true Life; according to
his own Words. My Fleah is Meat indeed, and my Blood is
Drink indeed. The Grace of my bleeding Redeemer was so
powerfully confirmd to my Heart, that I can with my whole
Heart, say, and join with the universal Christian Church.
Blessed be God even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath
blessed Us with all spiritual Blessings in heavenly Places, in
Christ. I also thank the Father thro’ his beloved Son, Jesus
Christ, for my Creation, for my Redemption, and for the many
fold Forgiveness of all my Sins, for they were Great. I well
feel that I am yet a poor Sinner, and this bows Me with Holy
Shame, before his Sacred and precious Wounds; and I pray the
Comforter the Spirit of Truth, to lead Me into all Truth; and for
his Holy Name’s Sake, to give Me more and more to die unto
him, and to love him and thank Him to all Eternity for his
bitter Sufferings and Death.
Now I am in the 66th. Year of my mortal Life, and draw
near to the Evening of my Days, and My natural Powers decay,
but while I am yet here, I can’t forbear to say with the Psalmist,
We will not hide them from their Children, shewing to the Gene-
-ration to come the Praises of the Lord: and his Strength and
his wonderful Works that He hath done.
My first Birth, was . . . . . . . . 1700.
My Marriage with my Husband . . . . . 1723.
First Awakening . . . . . . . . . . 1724
My Widowhood and Convictions . . . . . 1736.
My Call to Grace . . . . . . . . 1740.
My Reception in the Congregation . . . . 1750.
By our Saviours Grace I was a Communicant in his Church
the same Year, and from that Time, thro’ the Gift of the Holy
Ghost, I could believe that I was a Fellow Citizen with the
Saints, and of the Houshold Household of God.
I was born the 8th. of May, and am now in the 30th. Year of my
Widowhood, the Consideration of Which is so weighty to Me,
that I know not how to express my Thankfulness to my dear
Saviour, for all the gracious Forgiveness he has bestowd
upon Me; from one Year to Another, and from one Day to
Another has the good Shepherd shewd to Me his Faithfulness,
taking Me by the Hand like a Father, and thro’ his Spirit
manifesting his beloved Son unto Me, and that in Him all
my Happiness was treasur’d up. O this was to my Heart like the
Day Spring from on High, and the Dawnings of the blessed Hope
of my Redemption from the Power of the Devil, of the World and the
Flesh who held Me in the Bondage of Sin; so that what I approv’d,
I did not, and what I allowd not, that I did: and could do no other-
-wise. This was my Condition in the Year 1736. and the first
of my Widowhood. From this Time forward I perceivd
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in my Heart that my faithful Shepherd followd Me. When
thro’ Unbelief or the Deceitfulness of Sin, I strayd at any Time;
I then felt bitter Pains in my Soul, and nothing could satisfy
Me, at such Times, earthly Enjoyments gave no Contentment.
but restraining Grace preserved Me, and I resolvd to look to our
Saviour and wait for his Consolation. For when I perceived
that our Saviour drawd drew near to my Heart again, and by his Word
spoke a gracious Pardon unto my Soul, which wrought in Me
Abasement, Thankfulness and Love towards our Saviour; then
was I truly comforted.
I have already related the Convictions, and first Gleam
of Light which I had in the Beginning of my Widow State, &
it was so, that the everlasting Gospel was as yet, a sealed
Book unto Me. I was a poor Sheep that did not know
its Shepherd, nevertheless I felt his fatherly Heart and Care to-
-wards Me, altho’ I knew him not. But this I have found,
that the Widow State however hard to the Flesh, has been in the
Lord’s Time, Instruction and Blessing unto Me. Also the Lord
granted me the Blessing of having the 2 dear Children which the
Lord gave Us. continued to Me, they were a real Comfort unto
Me; and sometimes I had blessed Hours in Faith that I and
the Children which the Lord had given Me, were His, and this
afforded Me greater Joy, than all the Treasures of the World
could do.
I have found further, that there is no State in this mortal
Life to be compared with the State of Widowhood, as a School
to feel the Depth of Grief and pour out Complaints to the Lord,
who is also compassionate, and will not suffer Us to be tempted
above what We are able to bear, but with the Temptation gives
the Deliverance. So sure as our Saviour has promised to
be the Husband of the Widow, and a Father to the Fatherless, so
has my dear Saviour approved Himself to Me: a merciful
High Priest and a forgiving Father. My daily Poverty
and Weakness both of Soul and Body, gives Me to feel plain enough,
that I can’t subsist one Moment without his Grace. Yet
He says, in a Time accepted I have heard Thee, and in the
Day of Salvation have I succoured Thee.
So has my beloved Mediator done unto Me, He gave Me
an Inheritance among his Children, and hid Me under the Shadow
of his Wings, where I am secure. And if at any Time I felt
any Burden of Sin, Grief or Pressure of Heart, then has my
dear Saviour heard and forgiven Me; and I have at all Times
found, that when I come to him with all my Poverty and Sin
-fulness, Then He the Bridegroom of Souls has approved him
-self as the Husband of the Widow unto my Heart; And tho’
the Least of all Those who are Widows indeed. My Longing
is to become Such as my Souls Bridegroom may take Pleasure
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in; and the Mother who has regenerated Us, may rejoice over
Me, and the Rest of the Children of God, and that We may rejoice
with the Joy in the Holy Ghost. That I may with Sion suck
the Breasts of Consolation, and be at all Times cloathd clothd with
the Righteousness of my Redeemer.