Ful/SS/19

Hannah Ashly Departed May 5 1761

Hannah Ashly was born at Hartshead. Aug 20 1740 Yorkshire

Thro’ the Conduct of my Parents, & the Education I rec’d from them, I became in my Infancy desireous of an acquaintance with our Savr, whereupon I entered into the care of the Bren, & about my 6th year, I frequented went to the School in Morefield, where one Day Bror Heltd being in a close Conversation with the Children made mentioned of the wound in our Savrs Side-Hole which par ticularly drew my attention, it seem’d to me as if I has never heard of that Place before, I cou’d not rest till I had made Enquiry about it of one of my Sisrs, who inform’d me that it was the Place which the Soldier pierc’d when Our Savr shed His Blood for the Remission of Sins & expired on the Cross for the Salvation of all poor Sinners; this fill’d me with a real concern & encreas’d my desire after the Knowledge of our Savr & I long’d very much to know that dear Place in His Side, & to be therein a happy & good Child: in order to attain thereto I occu pied myself in learning Verses, & thought by constant singing of our Savr & His side, to procure for myself that acquaintance with Him, which my heart wanted. when speaking with my Sisr who kept the School, she told me that the Method I had began wou’d not bring me make me acquainted with our Savr, this touch’d me very deeply & brought many Tears from my Eyes

she also added, that if we children desired to become our dear Savrs & wou’d pray Him to bless us, He wou’d draw near to our Hearts & make us happy thro’ the Merits of those wounds which we were so desireous of being acquainted with. to all this I listen’d very at tentively, & went on 4 or 5 years, longing Child likely in my Heart to become our Savrs. in my 10th year I was put into a Class with other Children which was very weighty to me, here I perceiv’d that I had not yet attain’d to any feeling Knowledge in my Heart, which I from this Time continued longing after. In my 13th Year I was rec’d by our dear Sisr Anna Johanna into the great-Girls Choir, which proved a real Blessing to me caus’d in me such a new stiring of Grace in me, that I felt nothing cou’d satisfie me until my dearest Savr wou’d please to manifest himself to my worthless Heart, that I thereby might be cured of all my Sinfulness thro’ His precious Blood; This Longing continued till my 15th year, in which I felt a change & unsteadiness in my self, which caus’d me many heavy hours, I privately bemoan’d this my Con dition with many Tears: I felt my self overpowerd with the Depravity of my Nature, hence I with drew as much as possible from all kind of Fellowship, not knowing in these Critical moments

which way to take, & wou’d rather have given up all than feel the Perplexities which I now Labour’d under in this Extreamity of heart mind I withdrew into a Field, when I prostrated before my Lord & maker beging Him to direct & shew me what course to take; after a few moments Pause, I felt an Intimation in my Heart to return to my former Purpose of becoming entirely our Savrs. here my great Perplexity left me & I felt some Comfort; I plainly perceived the dangerous Path I had been pursuing by my unfaithful Course, which caused me many Tears. I chearfully returned to my class & converse with my dear Labourer about the situation of my Heart, & beg’d Forgiveness. all the opportunities were now more lively & engaging to me than before. I felt a real fellowship with my Choir & a Degree of Comfort in my Heart. In my 16th Year I had the Grace to be rec’d into the Congn, it was quite unexpected I being from a sense of my great unworthiness discouraged & almost out of Hope & cou’d not expect to enjoy such a Grace, this together with my reception into the little Virgins Choir (which hap pen’d about the same time) fill’d my Heart & Eyes with blushing es & Tears & bow’d me in the very dust for shame; feeling I was at this Interval under to Special Labour of the dear Mother by whose

gracious Intimations I saw & felt the Depravity of my wretched nature & that I was not yet according to my Savrs mind, yet I felt refreshing comforts from His precious Nearness. I now felt a great Desire to live in the Choir House but my circumstances, not permiting it, I was much grieved & shed many Tears on that account. but I enjoy’d the opportunities Meetings with real Grace & Blessing. In my 18th year I obtained leave to move into the Gummersel Oeconomy, this was a blessed School for my poor Heart, here in Conversation & Fellowship with the Sisrs my Heart came into a closer Connexion with my dearest Savr & a better Understanding of the blessed Lessons from the dear Holy-Ghost. at this time I also felt a great long ing in my Heart after the Enjoyment of my dear Lords Corpse & Blood; the Novr following, I became a Partaker of that in expressable Grace which melted me into shame & deep Abatement. about 6 months after I re moved into the Choir-House where I was plac’d among the great-Girls, this was a quite par ticular Period of my Life wherein the faithful Labour of the dear Mother brought me to feel how short I still was in the true Knowledge of the Sinner Point. At that remarkable & by me never to be forgotten Choir Communion March 1759 I also saw my deficiency in Sacrament & Choir Ideas, which made a deep Impression upon my

my Heart. at the Participation of the holy corpse I got an Insight into my connexion with my dearest Savr so as I never felt it before. On the Single Sisrs Festival May 1759 I was rec’d into the Single Sisrs Choir: this aweful Transaction made a deep Impression upon me; my Heart thus seiz’d & overpowerd enter’d into a Covenant with my Savr to live & abide by Him eternally from this very Day. The Opportunities on this special Day of Grace & Blessing, together with my Transition from my late Choir & Class Companions, had such an effect upon me, that now a new Schooling commenc’d. I attaind to a farther Knowledge of my Heart & natural Depravity; but thro’ the Grace & Fellowship which I enjoyd among the Sisrs, & also the blessed Labour in my Choir, I learnt how to treat, & bring each Circumstance before the Heart of my dearest Bridegroom, who by his bloody Grace overstream’d and helped me on from Day to Day, so that I became quite chearful & happy in my Heart & thankful for that blessed Election which united & incircled me in His Virgin-Choir. After some months enjoyment of a blessed Intercourse of Grace & Special Leading of my best Friend, I was attack’d by symptoms of a Disorder which very much affected my mind, & in some measure retarded my happy & chearful course; thus I spent some months in serious Thoughts a Reflections, believeing at the same Time that my dearest Savr suffer’d my body to be afflicted in order to keep me the more circumspectly by my Heart. thus for her own Words.

Towards the later End of Decr 1760. she moved into the Sick-Room: here one cou’d plainly per ceive that she had Hopes her Time wou’d not be long, which caus’d a particular Chearfulness in her Look. her ardent longing was to be speedily releas’d from her bodily Pain, haveing endur’d a great Deal, her Disorder being of an oppressive kind, & of a long Duration, she became again somewhat thoughtful con cerning her Heart: she often said “O what can there be between me & my Savr which delays my going to Him. in this her concern of mind we comforted her, & bid her have Patience. April 5th 1761 her Class Sisrs had a Love-Feast in the Sick-Room, which was an particular Joy to her. she frequently ask’d if any one cou’d informe her of the Time when her wish’d for Hour would strike, to know this was all she wanted for nothing cou’d satisfie her heart, but the Thoughts of giveing her Bridegroom soon the meeting. Thus she spent her Days in a Sabbatick stillness speaking very little. On the 4th of may she desir’d to see Sisr Mary whom she saluted with a particular Chearfulness & Serenity, which was observ’d by all the Sisrs in the Room. we were all of Opinion that she might probably go that Day, when this was mentiond to her, she seem’d extremly glad thereof, but when she recolected that all the Sisrs wou’d be engag’d (it being our Festival) & might to some be inconvinient, she knew not what to choose; yet said she, I am truely resignd to the will of my best Freind, may He do with me His poor Child according to His Heart, for now I am quite satis-

fied. Thus the spent this day of Grace with a chearful Heart, tho’ in great Pain of Body. Towards Night she alter’d very much a became speechless, by which it was desernable that her Dissolution drew near. in this situation she continued till about 3 in the morning, when her Laboures kept her an anointed Liturgy, & imparted unto her the Blessing of her Choir. Thus the Home-sick Dove took flight into the Wounds of her beloved Bridegroom, about 4 O’Clock in the Morning in the 21st year of her age. She has left in her Choir the Charracter of an honest, upright, & enamourd Virgin Heart. She was the whole Time of her sickness very agreeable to all about her, & behaved with becom ing Patience. she with Childlikeness continued to deport her self, with a Heart truely thankful for all the Care & nursing which was bestowed upon her in the Sick-Room. Her Behaviour evidenc’d a particular Nearness of the Person of her dearest Bridegroom. At the En joyment of her dear Lords Corpse & Blood, (of which she was on her Sick-Bed 5 times a Partaker) her heart was sinnerlikely thankful; this renderd her Home-sickness bearable, until the was favour’d with the Kiss of His pale Lips. May the 5th 1761