Brief – Memoir of our late happily departed Sister Esther Latrobe drawn up by her Husband and Brother
Our late dear Relative was born at Bristol, June the 7th 1802, and being the only daughter among a family of six children, was peculiarly precious to her parents and brothers, and tenderly beloved by them.
This tender affection and endearment was always returned by her with a warmth of feeling, which evinced to her family, her deep attachment towards them, and the gratitude of her heart to them for their love.
She was very early the subject of sickness and pain. In her childhood by occasion of the measles, which struck into her chest, she was brought to the brink of the grave and her family and medical attendants at that time had lost all hope of her life. It pleased the Lord, however to manifest in her case, His Power as the Preserver of men, and her life
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was redeemed from destruction. At this period already, the grace of the Lord Jesus was producing in her conduct the buddings of that patient endurance of suffering, which was afterward exhibited in blossom and in fruit. Her meek submission under pain was a wonder to many, and her physician frequently expressed his astonishment, that a child of her tender frame and years, could exhibit such lamb-like patience, under the pain he knew she was enduring. When she was just eleven years old, she experienced another severe trial from the hand of the Lord, by the death of her dear Mother. In common with the other member’s of her father’s house, she felt this bereavement keenly, and often wept in after-life at the remembrance of her loss. Indeed the loss was in some respect peculiar to her, as a daughter, and the only one; — yet the Lord graciously made it up to her, as she felt and feelingly acknowledged, by the fond cares of those whom he still left her, and by the kindness of many dear friends, not immediately
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belonging to her own family.
She spent the years of her schooling partly in Bristol under the care of Sister Bird and subsequently at Tytherton. The latter place was very dear to her; there she lived a great and interesting part of her pilgrimage, and there she found rest to her soul in the atoning merit of her Saviour.
Brother and Sister West were as parents to her, and she became the intimate friend of their eldest daughter. This was an attachment formed and maintained in the Lord, and we have reason to believe that our dear Relative often and frequently felt it to be for her good, a strengthening of her hands in God. During these years, she was brought again to the verge of eternity, by means of a rheumatic fever, and a violent affection or palpitation of the heart. Again did her medical attendants give her up and her sorrowing friends despaired of her life, but yet once more was the Lord’s hand stretched forth to save her, and she was restored to her family.
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They received her again as one raised from the dead, and she consequently became still more dear and precious to them all. These alarming sicknesses were evidently blessed to her soul, they were means and times of grace to her.
She was led to search and try her ways, and to seek the Lord with full purpose of heart and he was graciously found of her. Knowing now the end of our dear relative, we can trace clearly the good hand of our Lord in all these dispensations; we can see how he purified her, and made her fit for his service, and meet for an early possession of the inheritance incorruptible and undefiled, and that fadeth not away. We are enabled to read and to describe exactly the state of her heart; for she has left behind her, in writing, a few of those meditations and prayers, in which doubtless she often engaged, under the eye alone of her unseen Friend. She writes under date Tytherton – May 12th, 1824: — “May this year be remembered by me, as long as my gracious Creator permits me to remain on this earth. I have
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indeed lived almost for 22 years. But what have I been doing? Alas! I have done those things I ought not to have done. I have been an unprofitable servant. yet I feel my Saviour is both able and willing to save to the uttermost all who ask his forgiveness, and put their trust in Him. Oh! gracious permission, the Lord that’s in heaven, permit his poor creatures Him Father to call! I have today partaken with this congregation of the body and blood of my ever blessed Saviour – What a favour bestowed on us so unworthy of such a feast, and so inattentive to the voice of the Holy Spirit. Help me ever merciful Saviour to be more attentive in future to all thy invitations and ordinances, more forgiving to my neighbours, not easily offended. Teach me to bear and forbear and above all, to be more and more thankful for thy atonement, thy long suffering and tender mercies. Teach me to know myself. Let me feel more humble. Yea, Lord, teach me now what to pray for. I can do nothing without thee, “Now, then, the sequel is well weighed and
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August 17th.– She says– Lord I must blushing stand when considering what an ungrateful creature I am. How often the means thou hast appointed for worshipping Thee, have been neglected by me. I do indeed attend at thy house of prayer, but with such a wavering heart, and indeed sometimes cold indifference, that I return without receiving much benefit to my soul. Do thou, Oh! Heavenly Father, look on me in mercy, forgive all past neglect, make me in every respect more like what a Christian ought to be, more humble, relying only on Thee for everything I need. Subdue all earthly inclinations. Dear Saviour let me take my seat at the foot of thy cross, for ever having my eyes fixed on thy sacred body, bearing my sins’ heavy load. Yes! then let me the chief of sinners, weep and love my life away! Indeed, O God, I must confess that I have rested too much on my own strength; Oh! forgive this resumption, and hear my prayer for the sake of thy dear Son, without whose atonement I dare not approach thy throne. Give me then that true faith, which puts all dependence on the Creator and not on the creatures. Unto
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thee let me look for every thing, for thy guidance and direction under all circumstances, in the situation in which thy good providence has placed me. Here I must confess, how short I fall of what I ought to be. How little of my time is engaged with the children under my care, in conversing of thee and directing their young minds heavenward. Dear Lord forgive and teach me how to point thee out; let it be my delight to talk of Thee; and oh! grant, that not one may leave this house without some impression of thy dying love. Oh! that my heart were more devoted to thy service I often think too much of the future. On thee dear Saviour, I must depend Do with me what seemeth right to thee, and let my whole course be ordered by thy never failing power. Thine I am, yes! thine eternally. Let me not by any misconduct, word, or action, ever bring a reproach upon thy followers. When thou seest I am going astray for thy mercy’s sake, by any means; which Thou choosest, head me into the right path, oh!
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Ah! suffer me not to be a stumbling- block to any person, but may it in my walk be seen, that I with thee have been. These petitions an unworthy sinner ventures to ask only through our Mediator and Advocate, Jesus Christ, who died for our transgressions and was bruised for our iniquities; and of this I feel assured: He loveth us unspeakably, Nor lets us pray in vain, But gives the tearful heart that hope Thy suit thou shalt obtain. The next extract which is dated September 6th lets us know, how soon and how kindly the Lord answered her petitions, giving her holy joy in believing. She writes: Jesus is my joy, therefore blest am I. Thy ever gracious Shepherd, how gently hast thou led me into thy fold. Thou hast drawn me with chords of love to Thee, and now thou knowest that my soul delighteth in Thee. I have had kind visits oft from Thee in the night season. Thou hast condescended to assist me in my duties in the day time. Yes! I have often felt thee. Oh dearest Saviour, continue to be near unto me, as the air which constantly I breath. Satan does sometimes try to draw me from thee by suggesting, that after all,
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perhaps there is no God. But thy long suffering and tender mercies are past expression. How often after such moments, hast Thou drawn me to thyself, so that the language of my heart has been – “I will a little pilgrim be – Resolved alone to follow Thee. Thou Lamb of God who now art gone- Up to thy everlasting throne” and The following expressions of thankfulness and humble confession, occur under the same date: Oh! God! Thy goodness to me is past all expression; thy merciful hand has been over me these many years. How often hast thou raised me from a bed of sickness, yet how have I returned thy kindness? I have after a time forgotten- and yet not quite. No thou hast often showed thy great compassions by leading me to reflect on thy past mercies. Oh! how shall I, the most sinful, due thanksgiving raises- And sound my great deliverers praise! = November 28th, we have the following effusions of heart, clearly showing, that the bright hope of immortality, which shed such a glory round her last few hours, was then already enkindled in her soul. She writes: “The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by him, and the Lord shall cover him all the day long”- Deut. 33.12.
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Yes, dear Lord, thou dost indeed lead me on in safety and mercy, and what have I deserved Nothing! – I am an unprofitable servant My transgressions are too numerous to count; but I know in whom I have believed, and he is able and willing to keep that which I have committed to him till that great day, when I shall gain permission to leave this mortal tent. Oh! my soul, thou hast had of late sweet converse with thy heavenly Friend; what and if he should call thee to live with Him. “Since He did from death arise, And then ascend victorious, I likewise in the hope rejoice, To raise again more glorious, Thus free from fear I can in peace Depart to see him as he is, And live with him forever!” She then adds: “This is Sunday morning, And I am detained at home through a cold, however, however I shall attend the last meeting; and ever blessed Saviour, do thou grant me thy blessing. If a life is read, Oh! that some part may have a reference to my case. Send thy Holy Spirit upon all; so that he who reads and those who hear, may go home
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thankful that they were able to attend thy house.”- In the early part of the year 1825, she appear, to have been filled with a more entire spirit of devotedness to the Lord, a more ardent desire for his service and for being instrumental towards the spread of His Kingdom. She had before this period engaged in the service of the Ladies School at Tytherton, as a teacher, but the following extracts appear to aim at a more direct and spiritual employment in the house of the Lord. March 2nd, 1825- She writes: “The world passeth away and the lust thereof; but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever” “Oh! my soul, think often of this text. Help me Dear Saviour, to devote soul and body unto thee. Tis all I have to offer thee, Oh! Take me as thy property. Yes! I am more and more convinced, the nearer I live to my dear Saviour, the greater is my portion of happiness. Oh! that all could be persuaded to turn from their evil ways and live. And Oh! that everything I did, had a reference to the furtherance of the Kingdom of God. How much of my time is spent in needless perplexity about the things of this world! Oh! that every breath were devoted to my great Deliverer’s praise” April 17th My Soul wait thou only upon God, for my
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“expectation is from him”- “Oh! dearest Saviour send down thy Holy Spirit upon me, and lead me on in the path of righteousness. Condescend to direct my thoughts, words, and actions. To thee let all my wishes send. Oh! God, what can I render unto thee for all thy mercies? I am not worthy to pick up the crumbs that fall from my Masters table, but thou feedest me bountifully with choice things. I desire to resign every inclination to thy will. Help me to do so; I can do nothing of myself. This day if thou wilt accept Oh! God, of such, I devote hand and heart to Thee, do with me as Thou pleasesth, – I may do some service, poor dust though I am!” The latter part of the same year appears to have been a time of trial. She writes, Sep 20th “I am a sinful creature O Lord, have mercy upon me! Be thou my friend, my counsellor and guide, yea, my All in All. If I have thee, I have however, what me eternally can cheer. Thou seest all that passes among the children of men. Oh! Dear Saviour let thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven! Let me help thy rod, and say with a sincere submission the Lord does all things well: yea, much better than I deserved. Let me not give way to an unthankful and repining disposition. Forbid, O Lord, that I should boast in ought, but in my ransom price
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all the vain things which charmed me most, For Christ I freely sacrifice. Farewell world thy gold is dross. Now I see the blood stained cross!” October 22nd. “My soul, now with assurance Hope still be not dismayed, He will from each encumbrance; Again lift up thy head. Beyond thy wish extended his goodness will appear When he hath fully ended that causes thee such fears; and how ought I to blush, when I am left to reflect on my past life? Blessed be God! and oh! that all within me, now and at all times, could bless His Holy name.” November 27th “I feel indeed that the Holy Spirit is deepening his work in my worthless heart. What condescension that he should notice me, so utterly unworthy my heart longs for more faith and more love. Jesus is mine and I am his. “How great are his signs, and how mighty are his wonders! His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and his dominion is from generation to generation. His power is endless and his praise- He speaks, the universe obeys,- In such a Lord we are happy. “Better is the enjoyment of thy love, than all the honours or wealth which man can bestow. Yes, thou
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“art my chief delight, and I devote most heartily soul and body unto thee. Thou knowest my hearts wish of late O God; do with me as thou choosest. Without thy blessing I dare not move a foot. Bless and sanctify every thought, wish and action. The mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and His Righteousness unto childrens, to such as keep his commandment to do them.” Thus beautifully end her notes of the year 1825, – In the Spring of the year 1826, it was proposed to her to remove to Gracehill to be employed as a teacher in the Ladies Boarding School there. In a letter to her brother then Director of the Schools in that congregation- She thus signified her acceptance of the situation: With diversity of feelings. I this time address you, not that I am undetermined what step to take, on the contrary I am pleased you thought of me. I trust I shall be aided and supported by my unseen Friend, to discharge every duty committed to me, with credit and satisfaction; that I may not become an offense or stumbling stone to any person is my sincere prayer, but may my conduct be such as becomes a follower of Him, who was meek and lowly.” She evidently sought the direction of the Lord in this step.
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and by her manuscript it appears the word of the Lord to Jacob was applied to her own case: “Behold I will be with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.”
Her feelings at leaving Tytherton, where she had enjoyed so much grace, she thus expresses in the letter above quoted: “I have now lived in Tytherton 6 years. In this place I have attained my church privileges, and received much kindness from several of its inhabitants, therefore you will not wonder, that my feelings are somewhat various. I shall always retain sentiment of gratitude and respect for many individuals.” She arrived in Gracehill about the middle of June; and spent 3 years and a half, faithfully and usefully employed in the sphere that was allotted her there. It was a season of sweet and gratefully remembered intercourse with her brother and sister, with whom she spent, not unprofitably, great part of her spare time, feeling their house to be her home, and giving and receiving that mutual encouragement, which we all feel necessary in our various avocations. A few of the recorded feelings of her heart, will again
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show the progress of grace in her soul, and the state of her mind during this period. Sep. 14th, 1826. She writes — “When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee, and through the floods, they shall not overflow thee, When thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned, neither shall the flames kindle upon thee.” This does oftimes renew my courage, when it otherwise would sink. And to build upon this gracious promise, as a rock which ne’er can shrink, is what my poor heart doth pant for. Thus to trust unto my faithful Saviour for whate’er I yet don’t know in my pilgrimage below. What can a sinful worm, O God, render unto thee for thy unnumbered benefits!” — Feb. 6th, 1828. — “My soul doth magnify the Lord and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.” “Give me O my heavenly Father a more thankful heart; let me with more gratitude receive blessings from thy unerring hand, and when thou seest fit to send affliction, or visit me in trying dispensations give me grace to bow with humble resignation, and moreover rejoice, that thou dost so far notice me, as to treat me as a child. During the last year I have indeed been tried in various ways, so that in a measure I may say my foot had well nigh slipped; but thou art the searcher of hearts, and nothing is hidden
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“from thee. Thy mercy, too, a comforter sends, and mercy directeth my way, may mercy me ever attend. “Through years that may yet be to come; in every danger me befriend and peacefully guide me safe home. But if I have felt trials, I have been comforted, yea rich blessings have crowned my head, and with them my cup does e’erflow. When I look around me, how ought I to blush for allowing a murmuring thought to find entrance in my breast. But I am a sinful worm O Lord, and can do nothing as I ought, without thy enabling grace. Oh! my heavenly Father, send thy Holy Spirit unto me, make me more humble, let me have a constant feeling of thy presence, and let me take my seat at the foot of my Saviour’s cross, and bear his example ever before me. Perhaps this may be my last year, and if it should not, still may I spend it as though it were. “If any man serve me, him will my Father honour. I devote most heartily soul and body unto thee. And Oh! that my thoughts were more constantly fixed on thee. What infatuation! that the perishable things of this earth should so much employ the generality of men, whose interest
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“is to prepare for a better city. What if things do not always answer our expectations, are we on that account to despond? certainly not! For God in mercy sends afflictions to teach us this is not our home. If he were not to do so, we might grow hardened and secure in our sins, until they plunged us into endless woe! — “Oh! that I could walk as though each day were to be my last. The crosses and vexations which occur here, are but for a short time, the joys and happiness of heaven are for a never ending eternity: why then should do I allow such things to affect me so much? This is indeed sinful, but human nature is in itself unable to overcome the assails of its mighty opponents; the spirit may indeed be willing to do what is right, but the flesh is weak. But Oh! dearest Saviour, I would be wholly thine; take thou possession of my heart, and whatever would obstruct any of thy blessed views with me, root it out, although it cause me pain.” — How consoling is it to see our dear departed relative, though in the full enjoyment of health and youth, thus manifesting one great characteristic of God’s dear children, who consider their latter end, and who re-member in the prime of life and in the brightest of their mortal days, their latter and that
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that they are but sojourners and pilgrims on the earth, that they are to be looking continually and preparing continually for the city that hath foundation, whose maker and builder is God.– She continues: “Till my life shall end, do thou oh Lord, condescend to be my counsellor and friend: On my heart let thy precepts be inscribed, and let thy great example be my constant endeavour to imitate; so that I may not, in any way, be a hindrance to any of the Lambs of thy flock, by inconsistent conduct. Give me grace and wisdom, so to act and to speak with the children and young people with whom I live, that they may be constrained so indeed to think, the paths of religion are ways of pleasantness and peace. Keep them from the many temptations they will meet with in the world, and may some good seed be sown while they are here in each heart, though it may not produce fruit at once. Yea let us all live in the enjoyment of that peace, which a stranger entermedleth not with; and which thou alone canst impart. Let us “live unto thy praise and glory, and hereafter meet in that place, Where saints enraptured view their Saviour’s face, — and share the glories of his boundless grace; –That happy land, where seraphs tune the lyre– and Adams sons unite and swell the choir” These beautiful petitions in behalf of the little ones
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entrusted to her care, lead us to remark, that her treat ment of them was quite conformable to the sentiments thus expressed. Not infrequently did she employ their spare time, especially on the Sabbath in singing with them such Hymns, or Sacred musical pieces as they themselves selected. this was done in an easy, free, and agreeable manner; so that it pleased and edified at the same time; and she had the happiness to know from one of the letters of her pupils, that her endeavours thus profitably to impress the tender mind with the duties and truths of religion, were not in vain.
June 3rd She writes probably in reference to her approaching birthday: “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. O that I may but prove faithful to my high and heavenly calling. But oh! how slow in performing what I know to be right, and how prone to do that which is evil. ‘Well might the Prophet exclaim, “the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” Search me O God, and “know my heart, try me and know each thought. But in thy judgement, remember mercy, and let the atoning blood of Jesus Christ plead and prevail in my behalf. I indeed long to be more closely united unto thee. O for more faith, love, hope and charity to take possession of my sinful, but I feel devoted heart. I am weak, but my heavenly Father is wise and all powerful.” — Feb. 1, 1829 “By his strength he had power with God; yea he had
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power over the Angell and prevailed; he wept and made supplication unto him.” God desires that we should look up to him for enabling grace under every difficulty and temptation. Through his grace alone can we poor sinners overcome the snares of our great adversary. The Christian has many assurances, that whatever is permitted is intended for his good; according to his day so shall his strength be, if he but bow with holy resignation to the dispensation, of his Almighty Father. “Be glad in the Lord and rejoice then, the righteous and shout for joy all ye that are upright in heart.” What can be a more suitable employment for the Christian, than to rejoice in the Lord? who has cause if he have not? — Oh! that all could be persuaded to turn from their evil ways and live a life of faith. O Heavenly Father, I beseech thee, increase my faith; for Jesus sake pardon all my past transgressions; — enable me to live more in the element of thy love; put far from me every unholy inclination and desire. Calm O Lord every storm that would arise in my breast, — bring down every high imagination, and let me be determined to follow thee and thee only, cost what it may. Thou art indeed my “hearts delight. Send now thy Holy Spirit upon me, and enable me through this year, to walk
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as thy anointed in the path thou hast for me appointed. Save us O God of our Salvation, and gather us together, that we may give thanks unto thy holy name , and glory in thy praise!”– From the last clause of this prayer, and the peculiar expression, “gather us together,” it would appear that her affectionate mind was thus embracing in its desires before God, all the members of her family. May her fervent petitions be most graciously answered. The last meditation she has left is dated June 16th 1829, and it clearly shows how the Lord was preparing her mind for that important change in life, which took place with her before the end of the year. She writes, — “To thee O heavenly Father, I desire to submit all my desires, and to thee would I commit all my concerns, cast all my cares upon thee, conscious that thou carest for me. And who so fit to choose my lot, or regulate my ways, as a being, who loved me so as not to spare his own Son, who knows what is best for me, and is able to make all things work together for my good? I have often been brought low, but thou hast helped me, and when I have been looking for nothing but darkness, at evening time it has been light. But oh! after all thy patience, goodness, and care, how often do I betray my depravity by seeming to mistrust Thee. Yet I could cry
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cry out with tears, “Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief” — “When my foot slippeth, let thy mercy, O lord, hold me up. If my course conducts me through rough and trying scenes, say to me thy shoes shall be iron and brass, and as thy day is so shall thy strength be. Keep one in all places and circumstances. However ignorant of the future, enable me to trust in Thee and not be afraid. I should? begin, even in this vale of tears. the song I hope forever to sing. Marvelous are thy works, just and true are all thy ways, O thou King of Saints! Enable me to confide in thy promises, and rely on thy constant protection and care. Let thy law be dear unto me. May I be devoted to thy service and find it perfect freedom. Thou dost not indeed stand in need of any, but since thou art pleased in infinite wisdom and condescension, to safe means, I would say Lord what would thou have me to do? here is my hand, me, Lord assist, to serve thee midst reproach and shame. Be it my one undivided aim to glorify Him who has done so much to render me, happy and acceptable to God!’ She then proceeds to dilate on the love of God to man as exhibited, not only in redemption, but
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but also in the works of nature, which eloquently declare God’s glory and speak His praise. This was a favourite consideration with her. She admired the beauties and sublimities of creation with that calm satisfaction, yet holy delight which only those do feel, who can exclaim as they behold these are all the production of Him I call my who is my dear Heavenly Father, with whom I am at peace, through the blood of the Lamb!’ — She concludes thus: “And should man be mute, after receiving so many benefits? Undoubtedly not. He should lead the chorus. Each breath should sound forth the praises of so blessed and adorable a friend. May thy continued goodness make a lasting impression on my untoward heart. Thou fountain of all goodness, draw me to thy self, and enable me to do my duty, be it what it may.” — Soon after this in the month of November, she reserved a proposal of marriage from Brother James Latrobe, who had been called to the service of the Congregation at Ayr. This proposal she accepted, after requesting the consent of her Father, they were married the 28th of December
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December, and arrived at their post the last day of the year . From the moment of her arrival at Ayr, she entered upon her work with zeal and earnestness, and yet under a deep sense of her unworthiness to be employed as a handmaid of the Lord. By her christian cheerfulness and lively confidence in God, and implicit trust in his kind leadings, she was a help to husband in his official duties, especially when those duties led over thorny paths: her love of spiritual converse and family devotion too, and her interest in the welfare of the Congregation, were calculated to increase that love to the Saviour and his people which not only sweetens the cup of life, but is essential to the usefulness of the Lords servants. She loved to see and welcome those Brethren and Sisters and friends, who called from time to time, to be refreshed and animated in their christian course. All were received with affability. And to some,especially of the aged sisters
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her conversation proved to be a blessing and a comfort. Although no longer engaged in the education of children, yet that love to the lambs of the flock, which characterises many of her private meditations, was undiminished. Remembering the blessings she had experienced when taken in early life, by her parents to the children’s meetings at Bristol, and also the impression, which the remarks and advice of her beloved father had made upon her youthful mind, she felt a strong intrest in behalf of the children of this congregation, and impelled by that interest, she accompanied her husband to the houses of all the parents, previous to the children’s Festival, although by no means well at the time. The weighty and affectionate words and expostulations she employed on that occasion as a consequence of that visit, was, the recommencement of meetings for the children of the Congregation which had been for some time discontinued. She was peculiarly interested in the son of our Brethren and Sister Borland, who departed happily to the Lord in August this year, after a severe mental struggle
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struggle, and she often mingled her tears with those of her husband, while he was engaged in visiting the boy on his sickbed. Sabbaths were days of special delight to her; she loved the assembly of the Lords people, whither public or private, often prolonging the subjects that had been treated of in private conversation, and expressing her gratitude for the abundant provision of Gods house. Even when indisposed in body, and gently urged to stay at home, she often said, in allusion to her approaching confinement. No I will go to the Lord’s house while I can you know I shall soon be deprived of that privilege for a considerable time.” The event, which she thus alluded to, naturally led her to frequent meditation and converse, on the possibility of its terminating in her dissolution, and some months ago, she expressed her conviction, that if the Lord should see fit to make it the occasion of her change coming, all would be well; she could meet her Saviour with joy as a pardoned sinner, who had nothing to boast, but whose trust was in his atonement and righteousness. Such an
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expression of her sentiment was especially elicited by the sudden departure and burial of sister Morton when walking with her husband in the peaceful spot, where her own dear remains were interred but 3 weeks after, in hope of a joyful resurrection. The kindness and cordiality manifested towards her and her husband, both by our own Brethren and Sisters and by many excellent friends, was gratefully felt by her. On this subject and on the general state of her mind, she thus wrote to her sister in Gracehill, in the latter part of June: “I might charge myself with ingratitude, were I not to acknowledge that I have many kind and attentive friends, and though all have it not in their power to administer to our outward comfort, yet by their kind advice, affectionate interest, and willingness to assist me, they add much to my happiness, and call forth feelings of gratitude and praise to Him, who careth for his children, and will not suffer the confidence of those who put their trust in Him to be put to shame. I Indeed desire to commit all my concerns to my Heavenly Father, conscious that He careth for me. May I know how to be abased and how to abound; and in every
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varying condition, display the principles and disposition of one, who is seeking for glory and honour and immortality. I would not wish to be at my own disposal, but rejoice to think I am under the care of one, who is too wise to err, and too kind to injure” As the time of her confinement approached, she stayed her mind calmly on the Lord, neither giving way to needless fears, nor yet elated with too sanguine hopes. She found the letter and advice of her dear father a great help to her, truly valuing the privilege of having relatives, who were bound to her by the double ties of nature and of grace. Thus prepared in her mind, the time of her trial came, and after a long, difficult, and painful labour of 4 days, she was enabled to become the mother of a fine, healthy boy, early on the morning of Friday 15th Oct. During this severe trial She manifested that patience which had so long characterized her, and was really an edification to those who were around her. She constantly noticed the text of the day, drawing much comfort and support from them. This was especially
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especially the case on Wednesday, when she took occasion from the daily word: “The Lord hath called me from the womb” and to speak to Sr Borland, to whom she was deservedly attached, of the Lord’s kindness to her from her earliest infancy, in caring for her, hedging up her way, keeping her from temptation, and guiding her gently by the streams of salvation, and in the green pastures of his love. She spoke also of the happiness and profit she had derived, from her connection with the Brethren’s Church, Indeed she sincerely loved this part of the Lord’s vineyard, as is plain from her manuscript which contains meditations on some memorial days of our church, and petitions on behalf of some of its members. She passed the Friday very favourably, and though she did not sleep much during the night, her medical attendant expressed this satisfaction at her state on Saturday morning, and declared he did not expect to find her so well. About the middle of the day, however, unfavorable symptoms appeared, which did not yield to the remedies applied, and when her physician came again in the morning evening, he recognized the marks of rapid and decided inflammation. Powerful means were used to
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impede its progress and anxiously was the effect awaited; yet still the symptoms increased. She often reproved the anxiety of those around her, and scarcely repressed her tears, bidding them not to cast away their confidence. After a lapse of two hours, still stronger means were resorted to, as a final hope, and her husband proposing that they should unite in beseeching the blessing of the Lord for her restoration, she expressed her desire that this should be done; begging him at the same time not to weep, for she was in the Lord’s hands, He had often raised her up when brought low, and could do it again if He pleased. All were now composed after prayer, and the dear sufferer being asked if she were resigned to the Lord’s will, whatever it might be, replied cheerfully, “Yes I am.” Shortly after, she added with great emphasis: “Oh! what pround hearts we have; this is sent to humble one, and if I am brought through; I shall walk more humbly with my God.” Observing the tears of those about her, she endeavoured to comfort them, told them not to weep for her sake for it disturbed her composure
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and proceeded to say: “I had once to seek my Saviour, when in this state, but not now. I know he will do all things well!” During the night some of the symptoms abated, though the most alarming continued. She became very heavy, slept, and wandered occasionally in her mind, yet always in an edifying way. Early in the morning her medical attendant came, felt her pulse, shook her head, and upon having her room, informed her husband, that all hope of her life was now gone, mortification had commenced, and that day would be her last. With a bleeding and agonised heart, yet with prayer for the Divine support, he immediately returned to the bedside of his dying wife, took her hand and said: ‘My dear, are you prepared to hear, what I may have to tell you?’ Though she had appeared almost insensible before, she seemed to understand him in a moment, looked astonished, and then with the utmost composure and firmness said: ‘Yes my dear I am!’ Having been informed of the Doctor’s opinions respecting her, she exclaimed with peace in her countenance; “Well – the Lord’s will be done the Lord’s will is always best. I had hoped to have been spared a little
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little longer, but I am resigned to my Saviour’s will.” a pause ensued, a period of sobs and tears, “Don’t cry for me” she said, “I am happy going to our Saviour”, Turning to her husband, she said: “The Lord will sup- port you and bless you, and be far more to you than I have been. We have been very happy together, but now you “must give me up to the Lord. Don’t weep.” and then she looked up with glory in her countenance, and exclaimed; “O the delights, the heavenly joys, The glories of the place – Where Jesus sheds the brightest beams Of his o’erflowing grace.” And who would not go there” Every thing like wandering or insensibility had now completely left her. She seemed to realize, in the body, the joys that were before her, and her bedside became the very gate of heaven. It was as though the place were surrounded by happy spirits and holy angels, waiting to receive her redeemed soul, when it should be unclothed. Her husband being called out for a moment, she took that opportunity to say to Sister Borland; “Ask Brother Kleinsmith to write to Brother Ramftler and tell my dear Father, that I am departing in hope of a joyful resurrection, and am going to be reunited to my dear Mother.” and then she added, with her eyes
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uplifted to heaven, and oh! for angels to waft me to that happy place!” feeling then for her dear husband, she said to Sister Borland, who was weeping “Don’t cry before him, it grieves him.” Being asked upon her husbands return, if she would see a young friend, who was waiting to speak to her, she replied: “Oh! yes send for her, let her come while I can speak.” As soon as she had come to the bedside, the dying patient grasp ed her hand and said: “O my dear, you must come out of the world and leave its vanities and attend to the salvation of your soul. I know it is hard to leave the world, but you must do it, if you would have hope in your death, when you are like me.” She said more to the same purpose, and directed her to the Lord Jesus, and when the young lady promised to be kind to her baby. she said Oh! I have given up my child it will be well cared for, but, (and she put dying emphases into the words) oh! do care for your own salvation.” Another lady of decided Christian character approaching, she kissed her, and said: “Be steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” Frequently did she say to sister Borland, who had been day and night at her bedside: “Oh! you have been very, very kind to me – the Lord will reward you persevere, persevere and the Lord bless
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you and your family.”–knowing herself once from meditation, she asked what day it was, & being told it was the sabbath day, she explained with amimation: “Oh! it is a blessed thing to die on the sabbath, and to enter into an eternal sabbath.”– Shortly after it was proposed to sing with her; she said: oh! yes! do”—- and being asked to choose a verse, she gave out: “O thou the sole defence and aid and but owing to the indistinctness of her voice only a few words were gathered and being it could not be found at the time. The following was then selected: Jesus at my dissolution and ” when she said, “yes that will do.” It was then partly sung and partly sung out, but she maintained a heavenly composure, and often begged those around her not to weep for her, for she was happy. Once or twice she said, “perhaps the Doctor is mistaken. I am too strong to die, I do not feel as if I were dying.” But about two hours and a half before her departure she said placidly: “Now I feel a change, it will not be long now.” and then she betook herself again to comfort those around her, & especially her sorrowing partner. To him she said, with tender affection: “the Lord will support you & supply all your wants, I know he will, for I have prayed for you”— He replied “yes my dear I know he will, but it is hard to part with you so soon.” — “O! yes,”she answered, it is hard
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but it will not be long– soon we shall be united again, never, never, to be parted. You must finish your work; & then you will come after me, & we shall be united forever. I know you will care for our dear child, I am quite easy about it.”__ At this time the Doctor who was greatly interested about her, entered the room, when she eagerly addressed him: “How long shall I live Doctor? He seemed much affected, & replied: “My dear Mrs. Latrobe, I am sorry to say you cannot be long.” “Sorry! she said, sorry— do not say sorry. I am glad. Will it be two hours?” He answered that it could not be much longer, & that he was happy to see her so resigned: when she explained: “Let me die the death of the righteous, & let my last end be like his!” Her moments were now spent in sacred prayer, & in com- forting the survivors, but in a short time the struggle of death became hard, though they were not severe, & she said “it is a hard work to die”– & several times, asked, “will it be long?” She was told it probably would not, but that the Lord would give her strength equal to her day. This seemed to satisfy her, for on being asked, whether a prayer should be made for her release she said: “No! no! the Lords time is best, I can wait patiently for that”— ‘Yes’ said she — though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear
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I fear no evil, His rod & his staff comfort me:”– and then with great earnestness, & peace in her looks, she repeated the verse: “Now I have found the ground where in– Sure my souls anchor may remain;– Even Christ, who to atone for sin,—Was as a spotless victim slain, Whose mercy shall un- shaken stay— When Heaven & earth are fled away.” She now signified, that she wished to take leave of the friends saying, “Goodbye— Farewell to you all,”— waving her hands, & repeating the words, when some seemed to linger. Being then left alone, with her husband & sister Borland, she held their hand most affectionately, & comforted their hearts saying to Sister Borland,” you will be you to him: I know you will”– Brother Kleinsmith having entered the room the, & approached her couch, she took his hand, & said “you see, Sir, I am going before you.” He was deeply affected, and with much emotion, pronounced over her the blessing of the Lord for her departure. At the close of it she said: Amen! Amen When a few sisters had assembled at her bedside, she looked around, and said : “I know you all,” and seeing an aged sister pilgrim. Sister Borlands mother, with whom she often had sweet spiritual converse
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she beckoned to her, & taking her hand, said: “Don’t weep for me. Ah! their is a stingliss death yes! a stingliss death.” words, which the emphatically repeated several times. She now appeared once more to gather a little strength, again expressed her gratitude to Sister Borland, adding “you will be good to my child”—- & again attempted to comfort her weeping partner. Every moment her eyes grew brighter, & her countenance more heavenly, & she often said, “I think it will soon be over, the conflict will soon be over ended– Amen, Amen!” and as often did she turn to her weeping husband, & drew him towards her, to take leave of her. Presently however, she requested tea to be made & turning to her partner, she said: “My dear we will have a cup of tea together once more.” and while it was preparing, she addressed him with great affection in her countenance: “We meet again– joyful words, we meet again.” When the tea was brought, in she raised it eagerly to her lips, & having tasted, passed the saucer to her husband, & earnestly watched him drink, & then gently drew it to Sister Borland, signifying her desire that she likewise, should join in this
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parting feast of love. Under the impression that she was near her end, she then said: “the conflict is nearly over— bring the baby!” —- bring the baby!”— The dear little infant was brought in and all unconscious of the coming loss, presented to his dying mother. She kissed it eagerly, and gently rubbed its little arm with hand, as it lay across its breast, doubtlely imploring for it, in silent fervour, the everlasting mercies of her Saviour. After the baby was removed, she had some sharp struggles; but about a quarter of an hour before the end, she looked up again with great animation in her countenance, & exclaimed Praise! Praise! & she gave out the lines: “O may over imperfect song & praises – Be well pleasing unto thee, Lord Jesus;— Say my peace I leave with you,— Amen, amen, be it so!”— A short struggle ensued, after which looking around with great solemnity she addressed the company in these impressive words: “This is an hour that must come to you all!”—- She did not speak very
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distinctly after this, but her lips were seen to move, & sometimes such whispers were heard: “Dear Saviour– Amen–Amen!–” About 3 O’clock in the afternoon, a pang seemed to seize her for a moment, & her countenance betokened pain, but when it ceased a beautiful smile spread over her face, & her eye be came fixed. She leaned her head on Sister Borlands shoulder, & still retained the hand of her husband in affectionate recognition. Thus in solemn stillness, her parting breath was watched, & gently and insensibly did she die away, & her happy redeemed spirit went over into the arms of her Saviour & her God! Her pilgrimage had lasted 28 years & 4 months– Her memory is sacred & blessed upon earth, her record is on high!
She’s now at rest – In endless bliss – Beholding Christ our Saviour:– Our humble expectation is To join her there forever
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