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When all thy mercies O my God My rising soul surveys,

Transported with the view I’m lost In wonder, love, and praise.

Looking back upon days which are gone, a long life which has passed away as a tale which is told. — What cause do I find for deep humiliation and daring gratitude to my gracious God and Saviour who thro’ all the changes, and chances of this mortal life, has helped me to this hour, and given me a good hope through grace; I would fain leave a poor but grateful testimony

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of his love, mercy, & forbearing goodness to me, His poor erring child.

In London I first saw the light, 1783. One of four, two only survived My Father one of a numerous family was early cast upon the world to obtain his own bread married early. My dear old Grandfather I well remember, he had at that time some situation in the India House having lost all his property humanly speaking through the carelessness of a female servant. Being then in good trade in Kent she instead of cutting off a

candle she wanted, burns it off and not taking time to observe whether the wick of the separated part was extinguished, left it, it is supposed still burning. In the night a fire broke out, & everything was consumed, nothing being ensured, all was lost As soon as they could came to London, through whom he obtained this situation I know not, but that he appeared to me a very dear old man. My Father was at this time in the employ of the Right Honorable R Sheridan a noted political character, who for his second wife married

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a Lady related to the late Lady Elizabeth Whitbread Mother of my beloved Mrs Waldegrave Part of this lady’s fortune was expended to purchase an estate in Surry to be settled upon herself and children. While we were yet young my Father undertook to be land stewart on to be Bailiff of this estate — we all removed to the country & dwelt in a pretty cottage on the borders of a romantic common. Even now the remembrance is sweet and I seem to sink at the fragrance of the beautious Moss roses in the little garden before the house.

Yet there my precious time was wasted there my false views of life were nursed up. Our dear parents were strictly moral we went to church and learned catechisms but of the depravity of human nature I had no knowledge of vital religion we might be said to be almost as ignorant as the heathen. I had exalted ideas of what human nature might be and aimed with all my might to be what I called good I read with eagerness works of fiction loved to dwell upon those characters who were represented as overcoming all difficulties by their own generosity of heart and nobleness of mind

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I might spend much time in enumerating the trouble this caused me not finding man whose ideas presumed as mine and constantly failing to execute all I intended to do I sighed mourning turned back upon myself-indulging a morbid sensibility, finding no rest for the sole of my foot. My gracious God and Saviour in His love and mercy intend that I should yet become acquainted with His love and mercy manifested in the redemption of a lost world. About this time the lady of the mansion having a dear little boy now old enough to comment at least learn A,b,c took a

fancy to me, requested to have me to care for this little boy, promising to care for me as her own. To the utmost of her power she performed this, but it would surprise many, to hear of the straits to which she was too often reduced, by the thoughtless extravagance of her husband having some qualities she admired, my selfrighteous delusions were strengthened After a few years upon the marriage of our my dear departed sister to Mr Whitbreadurn son of a substantial farmer of Ripley, a neighbouring village, I returned home. This match was thought so good that there was

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much rejoicing but in a few years came a sad reverse my brother in law’s affairs became embarrassed and alas! he concealed the embarrassment from my sister till the last moment, from mistaken feelings of shame and tenderness and thus put it out of her power to help to avert the impending ruin. His friends helped him but a dealer in cattle he failed to a large amount. In the end my sister and her two dear boys returned to the parental roof and Mr. Whitburn went out to the Cape of Good Hope with letters of recomendation from the late lamented Mr Whit-

bread the faithful friend of all whose cause he undertook, and I again left home going to the sister in law of the lady whose little boy I had cared for. This lady travelled a great deal and had some time before offered to pay a person to stay with my mother if my Mother would spare me which then she did not, but now we think it providential, we did. We saw a great deal of the countty but grieving over the troubles of my family I enjoyed much less than I might have done; and at the end of two years thought myself

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highly favoured, when I heard that the eldest daughter of Mr & the Lady Elizabeth Whitbread was going to be married to the Hon’ble Capn now Earl of Waldegrave and that the Lady Elizabeth wished to present me to her daughter the character of the lady I greatly admired. What I heard of the gentleman prepared me to honour him. For the Lady Elizabeth and Mr. Whitbread I felt an idol sort of admiration they had tried to aid my brother in law and my father, I felt grateful

and devoted myself enthusiastically to their daughter. In 1812 came into Bedfordshire, after my brother in law left England we heard of his safe arrival at the Cape of Good Hope having obtained a situation but he had had two fits of sickness and was then going some hundred miles up the country, promising to send remittances, but we felt unsure and the constant state of anxiety undermined the health of my beloved sister. Heard some wholesome regulations being made at Somerset House so that no person

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could any longer hold a situation in that office who did not fulfuill the duties of it in person obliged my father who had longheld one employing a deputy unless he gave it up to remove his family to London which was a great pleasure to me as we sometimes came to London but at Cardington I was treated with the great est kindness and confidence I went among the villagers searching for and relieving their wants doing all I could for them with the approbation of Cap & my beloved Mrs Waldegrave whose Aunt the lady St. John

being a member of the Brn Church invited me and my friend Mrs Weir to go to the chapel at Bedford in the evening of Easter day 1813. We were pleased but no particular impresion was made upon either on the Easter Sunday following Lady St John invited me to the love feast I was pleased and in the meantime becoming more intimately acquainted with Sr. Thomas Smith late Sr Hannah Brown resident at Cardington & whose family had joined the Brn my Knowledge of the Brethren and attachment to them increased. Often has she refreshed

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my soul by accounts she has brought of sermons & meetings: and now my Father being much embarrassed by the derangement of the affairs of the characters before alluded to, it was but the prelude to a train of sorrow more keenly felt because in thy persons of those near and dear to me. In 1815 we lost our mother and I driven by the departure of from Cardington an enlightened curate, often accompanied the dear family of our worthy Br & Sr Brown to the Moravian Chapel finding comfort and one Sabbath

morning Br Harke preached when he gave out the Hymn (in the old HB.) the true good Shepherd God’s own son. When he came to the 2nd verse “For thee He shed His precious blood and now His own doth claim,” I was as it were transfixed to my seat what I felt I can not describe then surely the Lord gave me the first intimation of His will in this matter yet tho deeply impressed I heeded not this intimation as I ought to have done. Yet I was during this time fervently praying Lord thou hast blessed me by these people bless me with them I began to consider

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how strong the claims which my dear Mrs. Waldegrave had upon me not only for her kindness to me but from the nurturing consideration with which she and her honoured parents had in every way endeavoured to aid us in the troubles of our family. I found too that to attend to the Chappel as I wished I could not fulfill my duties to her and then meeting with Newton’s four letters an apology for the Church of England, gave up going to Chapel – satisfied myself with what I heard at Church certainly believing myself right as far as I then ??? in principle.

My beloved mother departed in May. The lamented Mr. Whitbread in July the same year – woe upon woe for I took a near interest. My sister my Mary came to see me – attended business in Biggleswade – nothing seemed to prosper her mind ultimately gave way under accumulated trouble my own received a shock which only the Rock of Ages held from shattering me. Her youngest boy obtained a presentation to Christ Hospital. His elder brother went to sea under the guidance of Captain Waldegrave, who, after the death of Mr Whitbread during the minority of his son, held his seat in parliament. On his coming of age and taking his seat

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Capn Waldegrave took his family on the continent. We went thro’ France into Italy. We had scarcely been fifteen days in France when we lost their dear eldest daughter of dysentry which was then prevalent at St Quinten. The eldest boy was nearly gone but Sir Charles Brown, an English physician who proved to be a friend of the late Earl of Waldegrave, came to was providentially led thro’ the town and met by Capn Waldegrave. [He] came to the inn prescribed for him and he was spared. The dear little girl was tenderly attached to me. I think

I could not have loved any one more. The moment she was dressed she left her home & we generally passed our time together sad was the journey to me, after she left. My mind constantly drawn to Bedford, hoping to retreat to the Srs house there, but detained from mentioning my desire, by a sense of obligation to beloved Mrs. Waldegrave, and the grief I knew it would cause her, if we parted. So there was the desire, pent up in my own bosom, and shaking. On our return in 1820, really in 1819, the house

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was found too small for the family and they removed first to Stocks [House] Hartfordshire and ultimately to a family seat in Somersetshire. I saw them through all this and after many trials and conflicts which I need not detail. On the 26th of October 1821 was received in the Srs House at Bedford with true sisterly kind ness by Sr Brogden Sr Harke and the sisters dwelling in the house.

I went a learner and am a learner still .Many changes have I seen and passed through among the Brethren and have had much to learn and an in a way I little anticipated. Holding an office in our schools is particularly trying to those who join the church in mature years who have not being brought up among them But I bless the Lord for my call of grace and

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rejoice with humiliation to be numbered with his people and among the flock of his fold As individuals & especially myself we do I fear come far short of what we ought to be. O may He graciously pour out His Holy Spirit upon us so that quickened to new life we may love Him more and serve Him better. Soon I may through abouding won

drous mercy see His gracious face — and would acknowledge the tender sympathy and kindness which during this season of weakness I have received from my beloved Brethren and Sisters in the Lord. May He bless keep and guide them into eternal life.

Saturday. February 14 1852 Ann. Georgeana Edwards.